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Ok, Im sure everone knows my occupation. One thing, after arresting people, I always think about the "jobs" they tried to pull off and try to determine what they did wrong and how they could have gotten away with the crime. I don't know if it makes me deranged or what, but I know I can't be the only person that's seen a crime on the news/real life and thought, "they would have gotten away with it if...." So, let the criminal mastermind in you out for a bit and tell me what you'd do. IE time of day, place, weapons/equipments, choice of victimes etc....
What type crime would you do? ...and morality aside, how far would you be willing to go with it? How many accomplices would you need?
Bank Jobs , Home invasions, Assasinations, Quickie Mart Robberies, Car Jacking....all is fair game. Pictures of weapons/tools would be nice too.
Given that I think like a cop, I've lost a bit of my criminal common sense... but I'd be interested to hear the Gurus opinions.
DISCLAIMER: This thread was created to for lulz and based on a genuine curiosity what the average My350Z member would resort to if he/she had chosen a life of crime. The following should no way be considered blueprints for actual crimes intended to be carried out.
__________________ Gun Totin' Liberals: Left of Center But Always on Target
Ok, Im sure everone knows my occupation. One thing, after arresting people, I always think about the "jobs" they tried to pull off and try to determine what they did wrong and how they could have gotten away with the crime. I don't know if it makes me deranged or what, but I know I can't be the only person that's seen a crime on the news/real life and thought, "they would have gotten away with it if...." So, let the criminal mastermind in you out for a bit and tell me what you'd do. IE time of day, place, weapons/equipments, choice of victimes etc....
What type crime would you do? ...and morality aside, how far would you be willing to go with it? How many accomplices would you need?
Bank Jobs , Home invasions, Assasinations, Quickie Mart Robberies, Car Jacking....all is fair game. Pictures of weapons/tools would be nice too.
Given that I think like a cop, I've lost a bit of my criminal common sense... but I'd be interested to hear the Gurus opinions.
This is not a good sign for you Nupe, seriously. You better get yourself in check.
How would you "off" them?....and where would this take place?
slit their throat with this.
I would grab them outside of a gym either early in the morning or late at night when the sun is not up(I would make sure there were no cameras before hand). I would hit them over the head with a sock filled with Ivory soap to knock them out. In the back of my truck (which would not have license plates on it) and then bring them to my house and do the cutting in the garage which I would have covered in plastic.
Mostly likely I would grind the meat up and make spaghetti and other Italian favorites with it. Probably invite people over for dinner also and tell them it is Elk meat.
Last edited by Mike Wazowski; 03-31-2009 at 04:48 PM.
oh and the plastic would be laid down with me wearing gloves (latex underneither leather gloves) It would be bagged up the same way and disposed of via fire in the desert. (along with the gloves)
I would stab someone with an icicle. Murder weapon melts, along with my fingerprints. Place body in dilapidated, abandoned building with nothing in its immediate area, set enormous fire. Fire Dept will just let it burn.
Or you could splatter a few hundred CCs of mercury all over someone's bedroom carpet. It would be best if the mercury was in a large non sharp needled syringe and you slamed your hand down ont he plunger--this will cause a spray of extremely large particles that would not be likely to be seen, especially in a deep carpet. The mercury will slowly volitolize, killing the victim via heavy metal poisoning. Vacuuming the carpet with a traditional vacuum will only make it worse.
On second thought, I would become an enormously famous football player, appear in comedic roles in various movies, buy some gloves that are too small, drive around in my buddy's white Bronco, hire expensive lawyers, and then write a book saying I did it. Clean, clean getaway.
For instance: home invasions
Time frame: 5 minutes to complete
Purpose: valuables
Occupants 3 (2 adults 1 child) in a two story home
Access Points: Front/rear doors, garage
Homeowner Armed: unknown
Crew: 3 w/body armor, masks, all armed with small caliber handguns. 9mm max
Best entry, would be the front door, forget about tools to open the door, a swift kick will do nicely. Most people cannont recognized the sound of door being kicked in vs a trash can being knocked over (save the occupants). After door is kicked in, 2 immediately make way to masterbedroom, other to child's room. This would take no less that 10 sec, home owner while may be armed can normally not be expect to reach his weapon and compose himself in such a brief period. Do not make entry through masterbed room. Have adults in view, but under concealment of doorway. Announce intentions (valuables only, not wanting to endanger occupants). If child is in your possession, game over. Adults should fully comply. 5 minutes would be well within police response time, if target home is picked corrcetly.
__________________ Gun Totin' Liberals: Left of Center But Always on Target
For instance: home invasions
Time frame: 5 minutes to complete
Purpose: valuables
Occupants 3 (2 adults 1 child) in a two story home
Access Points: Front/rear doors, garage
Homeowner Armed: unknown
Crew: 3 w/body armor, masks, all armed with small caliber handguns. 9mm max
Best entry, would be the front door, forget about tools to open the door, a swift kick will do nicely. Most people cannont recognized the sound of door being kicked in vs a trash can being knocked over (save the occupants). After door is kicked in, 2 immediately make way to masterbedroom, other to child's room. This would take no less that 10 sec, home owner while may be armed can normally not be expect to reach his weapon and compose himself in such a brief period. Do not make entry through masterbed room. Have adults in view, but under concealment of doorway. Announce intentions (valuables only, not wanting to endanger occupants). If child is in your possession, game over. Adults should fully comply. 5 minutes would be well within police response time, if target home is picked corrcetly.
This seems to be the most likely home invasion scenario given how many strong arm robberies have been going on lately.
This is also the one that I'm prepared for.
Former Marine that is a light sleeper - check
4 camera CCTV system - check
DEAFENING alarm sirens on the first floor with sensors on all windows and doors - check
Bedroom located upstairs - check
No other occupants besides the wife and I - check
Bedroom door locked at night - check
Glock 20 (10mm) loaded with some really nasty custom rounds and laser/light combo on the nightstand - check
Cell phone on nightstand - check
If the above ever happened, then the gun and phone get grabbed and we would retreat into the large master bath area to call 911 (even though the alarm would already be doing that). I cover the bedroom door behind cover... if it gets kicked in, then the questions will be asked later
As I write all of the above, it may seem like I am paranoid but I am not. I just consider myself prepared. I have been doing it so long now that it's just part of the daily routine and is all very fluid.
If You Were A Criminal....
No, im actually going to use this as a teaching tool...
