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11-13-2012, 10:17 AM
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Sumfknguy did the Josh chop, iirc. **** was hilarious.
I felt bad for that kid, considering all the **** he got, then I met him & completely understood.
I felt bad for that kid, considering all the **** he got, then I met him & completely understood.
12-11-2012, 07:26 AM
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12-11-2012, 09:05 AM
NolaZcc
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per cow's request. everyday on facebook, i've been posting different scenarios on the end of days coming on the 21st of this month. i'll post it on here for yall to read.
Since the end of days is approaching on 12/21/12, I decided I will write hypothetical scenario's of the apocalyptic end and how to survive such events. This is to prepare you and your love ones to live and strive to build the human race again. Everyday I will post a new doomsday event. (not all events will have a guide)
Scenario 1. Zombie Apocalypse
This one is highly unlikely but I will still cover the basis to help you live through this event. Here are some survival tips to live by:
1) Do not, I repeat do not ever try to pet or help anything that looks like it's half dead. Chances are they are infected and will try to eat your flesh. Best thing to do is to beat it senseless in the head with a bat( Louisville slugger would be my weapon of choice).
2) Make sure your cardio is in top notch. Zombies aren't good movers so you can definitely out run them if need be. Lateral movements I find work best. So stretch your hips and legs....Ladies, ditch your high heels and get a nice pair of running shoes. I suggest something light weight like innov-8 or nike's free run.
3) Confiscate a boat and learn how to swim. Being on a lake or the ocean and you're pretty safe from any attacks. Zombies aren't really known to be good swimmers.
4) Weapons. Zombies are attracted to sound. Having a gun is nice and all but it's loud. A bat, an axe, or a katana(sword) would be the optimal choices in my opinion.
5) Stock up on food and water. NO, this doesn't mean steak and chicken. Stock up on canned goods and/or dehydrated foods. Food and water will be scarce so stock up!!!
6) Shelter. Make sure your housing is zombie proof. Board the windows but have lookout areas. Have lot's of supplies such as medicine, flashlights, batteries, weapons, etc. Always have an exit strategy. You never wanna get pinned in.
7) Common Sense!! Please please be smart. If you are in a group, elect a leader who is confident and smart and not a psychopath who will lead you and your group to it's demise. If you are alone, find a group to join. Strength are in numbers!
8) Ok, this is really harsh but stay away from fat people. They will slow you down. If you think you're a little overweight this is the perfect opportunity to trim down a little. You do not wanna be left behind!
9) The dead doesn't sleep so you always have to be aware of your surroundings. Snooze and you will die.. Be mentally prepared.
10) Most importantly of all, DO NOT GET BITTEN. Once you turn, I will be force to kill you...again. If any of your friends or family gets bitten, do them a favor and off them right away. There's no crying in a Zombie Apocalypse World.
Hopefully, that was enough info. Tomorrow's discussion: Asteroid impact
Since the end of days is approaching on 12/21/12, I decided I will write hypothetical scenario's of the apocalyptic end and how to survive such events. This is to prepare you and your love ones to live and strive to build the human race again. Everyday I will post a new doomsday event. (not all events will have a guide)
Scenario 1. Zombie Apocalypse
This one is highly unlikely but I will still cover the basis to help you live through this event. Here are some survival tips to live by:
1) Do not, I repeat do not ever try to pet or help anything that looks like it's half dead. Chances are they are infected and will try to eat your flesh. Best thing to do is to beat it senseless in the head with a bat( Louisville slugger would be my weapon of choice).
2) Make sure your cardio is in top notch. Zombies aren't good movers so you can definitely out run them if need be. Lateral movements I find work best. So stretch your hips and legs....Ladies, ditch your high heels and get a nice pair of running shoes. I suggest something light weight like innov-8 or nike's free run.
3) Confiscate a boat and learn how to swim. Being on a lake or the ocean and you're pretty safe from any attacks. Zombies aren't really known to be good swimmers.
4) Weapons. Zombies are attracted to sound. Having a gun is nice and all but it's loud. A bat, an axe, or a katana(sword) would be the optimal choices in my opinion.
5) Stock up on food and water. NO, this doesn't mean steak and chicken. Stock up on canned goods and/or dehydrated foods. Food and water will be scarce so stock up!!!
6) Shelter. Make sure your housing is zombie proof. Board the windows but have lookout areas. Have lot's of supplies such as medicine, flashlights, batteries, weapons, etc. Always have an exit strategy. You never wanna get pinned in.
7) Common Sense!! Please please be smart. If you are in a group, elect a leader who is confident and smart and not a psychopath who will lead you and your group to it's demise. If you are alone, find a group to join. Strength are in numbers!
8) Ok, this is really harsh but stay away from fat people. They will slow you down. If you think you're a little overweight this is the perfect opportunity to trim down a little. You do not wanna be left behind!
9) The dead doesn't sleep so you always have to be aware of your surroundings. Snooze and you will die.. Be mentally prepared.
10) Most importantly of all, DO NOT GET BITTEN. Once you turn, I will be force to kill you...again. If any of your friends or family gets bitten, do them a favor and off them right away. There's no crying in a Zombie Apocalypse World.
Hopefully, that was enough info. Tomorrow's discussion: Asteroid impact
Last edited by soleil; 12-11-2012 at 09:13 AM.
12-11-2012, 09:06 AM
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Scenerio 2: Asteroid impact
We've all the seen the movies. Armageddon, Deep Impact(comet). Imagine this, an asteroid a mile long strikes the Earth at maximum velocity with enough energy as 5000 atomic bombs. Destroying everything insight. Covering the atmosphere with a dust cloud causing yet another ice age. Remember the dinosaurs? Those big poor dumb mother fawkers that aren't around anymore. You
got it, an asteroid decimated the Earth wiping out their food source and extinction was to follow. The same thing could happen to us if we don't take the needed precautions. If you follow these simple and easy guidelines maybe you will be able to continue to live and repopulate this post apocalyptic Earth.
1) Bomb/fallout shelter. Safest place to be when impact happens is underground. Building a shelter underground isn't an easy task. Please do not go in your backyard and start digging. There are gas and water lines underneath your house. You'll probably hit gas main and blow your sorry *** to bits and pieces. Pick a destination outside of the city. Here is a website that can help you build one: Undergroundbombshelter.com. If you decide to build an above ground shelter, make sure you have plenty of weapons to fend off intruders and looters.
2) Food and water. Just like the zombie invasion, food and water will be extremely scarce. Stock up your shelter with plenty of it. MRE's( meals ready to eat), non perishable foods. Stock up for at least 5 years. Yes, you will be underground for that long.
3) Weapons. Unlike the zombies, my weapons of choice will be high powered rifles and a shiet load of handguns. Make sure you have lots and lots of ammo. Nothing worse then having guns with no bullets. That's like trying to make babies but shooting blanks. The world will be in turmoil. Reminding survivors will loot and steal so be prepared to protect yourself and your loved ones. Shoot first and asked questions after. Unless she's a hot girl needing some sexy time...Then we can work something out.
4) Seeds. Once the atmosphere is clear and the dust and debris settles, start planting seeds. Guys, I'm talking about plant seed not sperm. You can store different variety of seeds in your shelter.
I'm really hoping you take the threat of an asteroid impact seriously because it will happen again. Maybe on the 21st of this month. Any who.. Good Luck and God speed!
Tomorrow's discussion: super volacano's
We've all the seen the movies. Armageddon, Deep Impact(comet). Imagine this, an asteroid a mile long strikes the Earth at maximum velocity with enough energy as 5000 atomic bombs. Destroying everything insight. Covering the atmosphere with a dust cloud causing yet another ice age. Remember the dinosaurs? Those big poor dumb mother fawkers that aren't around anymore. You
got it, an asteroid decimated the Earth wiping out their food source and extinction was to follow. The same thing could happen to us if we don't take the needed precautions. If you follow these simple and easy guidelines maybe you will be able to continue to live and repopulate this post apocalyptic Earth.
1) Bomb/fallout shelter. Safest place to be when impact happens is underground. Building a shelter underground isn't an easy task. Please do not go in your backyard and start digging. There are gas and water lines underneath your house. You'll probably hit gas main and blow your sorry *** to bits and pieces. Pick a destination outside of the city. Here is a website that can help you build one: Undergroundbombshelter.com. If you decide to build an above ground shelter, make sure you have plenty of weapons to fend off intruders and looters.
2) Food and water. Just like the zombie invasion, food and water will be extremely scarce. Stock up your shelter with plenty of it. MRE's( meals ready to eat), non perishable foods. Stock up for at least 5 years. Yes, you will be underground for that long.
3) Weapons. Unlike the zombies, my weapons of choice will be high powered rifles and a shiet load of handguns. Make sure you have lots and lots of ammo. Nothing worse then having guns with no bullets. That's like trying to make babies but shooting blanks. The world will be in turmoil. Reminding survivors will loot and steal so be prepared to protect yourself and your loved ones. Shoot first and asked questions after. Unless she's a hot girl needing some sexy time...Then we can work something out.
4) Seeds. Once the atmosphere is clear and the dust and debris settles, start planting seeds. Guys, I'm talking about plant seed not sperm. You can store different variety of seeds in your shelter.
I'm really hoping you take the threat of an asteroid impact seriously because it will happen again. Maybe on the 21st of this month. Any who.. Good Luck and God speed!
Tomorrow's discussion: super volacano's
Last edited by soleil; 12-11-2012 at 09:12 AM.
12-11-2012, 09:07 AM
NolaZcc
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Scenario 3: Super volcano
What is a super volcano? I"ll tell you what it is, it's a big bad mother ******. That's right. Did you know that Yellowstone National Park is on top of a big *** volcano? A volcano ready to erupt again any day now. A massive eruption that could cause mass extinction to life as we know it. Anybody living 150 miles from ground zero would die from the explosion alone. Ash a
nd debris would cover the sun changing the climate and causing the Earth to be become a frozen tundra. Killing crops, food source and animals. Pollution would spread worldwide. I can only think of three words.."We be fcuked!" The guideline to survive this will be the same as the asteroid impact. **See scenario 2** The time is approaching. Act fast and be safe. Tomorrow's discussion: Machine's takeover!
What is a super volcano? I"ll tell you what it is, it's a big bad mother ******. That's right. Did you know that Yellowstone National Park is on top of a big *** volcano? A volcano ready to erupt again any day now. A massive eruption that could cause mass extinction to life as we know it. Anybody living 150 miles from ground zero would die from the explosion alone. Ash a
nd debris would cover the sun changing the climate and causing the Earth to be become a frozen tundra. Killing crops, food source and animals. Pollution would spread worldwide. I can only think of three words.."We be fcuked!" The guideline to survive this will be the same as the asteroid impact. **See scenario 2** The time is approaching. Act fast and be safe. Tomorrow's discussion: Machine's takeover!
Last edited by soleil; 12-11-2012 at 09:12 AM.
12-11-2012, 09:08 AM
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Scenario 4: Destruction of humanity by machines
"Red pill or blue pill?" (The Matrix) I would have asked Morpheus which pill hit the hardest but was the cleaner one. Don't you hate taking a dirty *** pill feeling like shiet the next day? Then the waiting game begins. That anxious feeling like "when is it gonna hit?" "It's been 30 mins and I still don't feel anything." Did I just get ripped off?" "
Dammit, I knew I should have taken the other one." I wouldn't know cause I don't do any of that.
***DISCLAIMER*** DRUGS ARE BAD. THEY WILL KILL YOU. DON'T DO DRUGS ***DISCLAIMER***
Sorry, I got a little sidetracked. Back to the subject. Did y'all know that there are computers that can think on their own? There are scientists out there trying to give these computers feelings. Mimicking human behavior. Trying to make them as humanly as possible. What do you think will happen? Movies like The Terminator, The Matrix, iRobot(book first) science fiction right? Not anymore, it's becoming reality. These machines will come to their senses and destroy us. Take our women and children and do God knows what with them. How can we preserve our human race you asked? I'll tell you how. We need to send a guy named Kyle Reese back to the past to impregnate a waitress name Sarah Conner. She will have a boy and name him John. He will eventually grow up and lead the human resistant group to destroy the machines. I'm hoping he doesn't get involved in hanging out with the wrong crowd and get hooked on meth. That would really ensure our demise. So we're praying that this kid won't grow up to be a total shiethead. You know kids nowadays, they just wanna be all independent and whatnot. Have that I don't give a crap about shiet attitude. Well, John, if you're reading this, don't you **** this up! So that's it. The only way to survive the machines is to put all your faith into this damn kid that we don't know and hoping he grows up and destroys all of the machines. Monday's discussion: Alien Invasion!
"Red pill or blue pill?" (The Matrix) I would have asked Morpheus which pill hit the hardest but was the cleaner one. Don't you hate taking a dirty *** pill feeling like shiet the next day? Then the waiting game begins. That anxious feeling like "when is it gonna hit?" "It's been 30 mins and I still don't feel anything." Did I just get ripped off?" "
Dammit, I knew I should have taken the other one." I wouldn't know cause I don't do any of that.
***DISCLAIMER*** DRUGS ARE BAD. THEY WILL KILL YOU. DON'T DO DRUGS ***DISCLAIMER***
Sorry, I got a little sidetracked. Back to the subject. Did y'all know that there are computers that can think on their own? There are scientists out there trying to give these computers feelings. Mimicking human behavior. Trying to make them as humanly as possible. What do you think will happen? Movies like The Terminator, The Matrix, iRobot(book first) science fiction right? Not anymore, it's becoming reality. These machines will come to their senses and destroy us. Take our women and children and do God knows what with them. How can we preserve our human race you asked? I'll tell you how. We need to send a guy named Kyle Reese back to the past to impregnate a waitress name Sarah Conner. She will have a boy and name him John. He will eventually grow up and lead the human resistant group to destroy the machines. I'm hoping he doesn't get involved in hanging out with the wrong crowd and get hooked on meth. That would really ensure our demise. So we're praying that this kid won't grow up to be a total shiethead. You know kids nowadays, they just wanna be all independent and whatnot. Have that I don't give a crap about shiet attitude. Well, John, if you're reading this, don't you **** this up! So that's it. The only way to survive the machines is to put all your faith into this damn kid that we don't know and hoping he grows up and destroys all of the machines. Monday's discussion: Alien Invasion!
Last edited by soleil; 12-11-2012 at 09:10 AM.
12-11-2012, 09:09 AM
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Scenario 5: Alien Invasion
No, I'm not talking about the cute alien from ET trying to phone home or the adorable little robot looking thingamajig from Batteries Not Included that fix broken shiet around your house. I'm talking about highly intelligent ******* that are mean and ugly and want to probe you. What's up with the probing anyway? These invaders are here to attack and take over your planet
. They will not come in peace. Please do not try to reason with them. Their one and only mission is to destroy you and everything that you know. This write up will be a little different from the other scenario's. I will give you an option to join the resistance to fight the aliens or defect and be branded a traitor.
The Resistance:
1) When the aliens attack, it will certainly be a surprise. Find cover and find it quickly. They will try and ****** people and or kill them instantaneously. Stay put. You will hear screams but let them be. It's probably too late to save them. Don't be a hero. Aliens are extremely sneaky.
2) After the initial attacks, you will need to find supplies(weapons, food, water , etc). Weapons are really important. High powered rifles and hand guns will be a good start. I wouldn't use knives or anything of that nature. Hand to hand combat isn't a very good idea with them either. Shoot from a distance and live to fight another day.
3) Find other survivors who are willing to fight. Strong minded people. People who will die to save their planet. People like myself who are willing to fight to the end. Never surrender! They may take our lives but they will never take our freedom!
4) Find a secret location to setup camp. A base of operation to plan and execute attacks against the aliens. Personally, I would chose a place underground somewhere with multiple exits for escape if need be. You never want to be trapped anywhere.
5) As much as I'm not crazy about this one but we do have to save the kids. The children will be our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be. Holy shiet, I just quoted Whitney Crackhead Houston.
6) Save the ladies!!! Procreate procreate and procreate. Ladies between the ages of 18-34 would be saved for procreation. Face it people, that's what we were program to do. The only way to battle extinction is to mate like bunnies to repopulate the earth again. Ladies, who's free tonight? We can get ahead start!!!
7)Once we have enough babies running around, its time to plan the attacks. I'm talking about full blown operations. Like in Star Wars, when Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and friends take down Darth Vader and the Death Star. I'm not gonna post how to attack because the aliens may be monitoring my Facebook account. Sneaky sneaky aliens...I can't get got, ya herd me!!! Mama didn't raised no fool!
Ok, I think that is it for now. If we can come together and fight as one, we can overcome the alien stronghold. May the force be with you!
The Aliens:
If you decide to defect and fight for the aliens, there are some advantages. Here are some examples:
1) They will probably wipe out half of mankind so teaming up with them wouldn't be a bad idea.
2) They have lasers for weapons. LASERS!!! Come on people, how the hell do we defend ourselves against such attacks.
3) They have big flying ships and or big walking machines that will crush everything insight...Did I mention the ******* lasers?!!!
4) They will need you to procreate so you can work for them and your children will work for them and your children's children will work for them.
5) You get to fly to the their mother ship in space. For those who always dream of being an astronaut this is your chance.
Choose wisely. Aliens have been monitoring us for centuries now. Collecting information and devising a plan to attack us. You've been warned! Tomorrow's discussion: Reversal of Earth's magnetic field
No, I'm not talking about the cute alien from ET trying to phone home or the adorable little robot looking thingamajig from Batteries Not Included that fix broken shiet around your house. I'm talking about highly intelligent ******* that are mean and ugly and want to probe you. What's up with the probing anyway? These invaders are here to attack and take over your planet
. They will not come in peace. Please do not try to reason with them. Their one and only mission is to destroy you and everything that you know. This write up will be a little different from the other scenario's. I will give you an option to join the resistance to fight the aliens or defect and be branded a traitor.
The Resistance:
1) When the aliens attack, it will certainly be a surprise. Find cover and find it quickly. They will try and ****** people and or kill them instantaneously. Stay put. You will hear screams but let them be. It's probably too late to save them. Don't be a hero. Aliens are extremely sneaky.
2) After the initial attacks, you will need to find supplies(weapons, food, water , etc). Weapons are really important. High powered rifles and hand guns will be a good start. I wouldn't use knives or anything of that nature. Hand to hand combat isn't a very good idea with them either. Shoot from a distance and live to fight another day.
3) Find other survivors who are willing to fight. Strong minded people. People who will die to save their planet. People like myself who are willing to fight to the end. Never surrender! They may take our lives but they will never take our freedom!
4) Find a secret location to setup camp. A base of operation to plan and execute attacks against the aliens. Personally, I would chose a place underground somewhere with multiple exits for escape if need be. You never want to be trapped anywhere.
5) As much as I'm not crazy about this one but we do have to save the kids. The children will be our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be. Holy shiet, I just quoted Whitney Crackhead Houston.
6) Save the ladies!!! Procreate procreate and procreate. Ladies between the ages of 18-34 would be saved for procreation. Face it people, that's what we were program to do. The only way to battle extinction is to mate like bunnies to repopulate the earth again. Ladies, who's free tonight? We can get ahead start!!!
7)Once we have enough babies running around, its time to plan the attacks. I'm talking about full blown operations. Like in Star Wars, when Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and friends take down Darth Vader and the Death Star. I'm not gonna post how to attack because the aliens may be monitoring my Facebook account. Sneaky sneaky aliens...I can't get got, ya herd me!!! Mama didn't raised no fool!
Ok, I think that is it for now. If we can come together and fight as one, we can overcome the alien stronghold. May the force be with you!
The Aliens:
If you decide to defect and fight for the aliens, there are some advantages. Here are some examples:
1) They will probably wipe out half of mankind so teaming up with them wouldn't be a bad idea.
2) They have lasers for weapons. LASERS!!! Come on people, how the hell do we defend ourselves against such attacks.
3) They have big flying ships and or big walking machines that will crush everything insight...Did I mention the ******* lasers?!!!
4) They will need you to procreate so you can work for them and your children will work for them and your children's children will work for them.
5) You get to fly to the their mother ship in space. For those who always dream of being an astronaut this is your chance.
Choose wisely. Aliens have been monitoring us for centuries now. Collecting information and devising a plan to attack us. You've been warned! Tomorrow's discussion: Reversal of Earth's magnetic field
Last edited by soleil; 12-11-2012 at 09:11 AM.