For those of you who don't get to enjoy the Illinois politics circus...

[plezercruz]

The Republican nominee for Senate this year in Illinois is one Jack Ryan. Jack Ryan won the primary in part because he managed to keep the details of his divorce from being disclosed, but they have now been ordered released. Jack Ryan had told everybody that there wasn't anything embarassing in the documents anyway and not to worry...

Turns out Jack Ryan's ex wife, Jeri Ryan (yes all you dorks out there, Seven of Nine from Star Trek Voyager) alleged that he had taken her repeatedly to sex clubs and that he had pressured her to have sex with him in public while others watched. While he flatly denied it at the divorce proceedings, both Jim Edgar and Judy Baer Topinka (Illinois Republican party bigwigs) are furious at him for not telling them that this sort of thing would be found in the file. And because she is famous (and very hot) sooner or later everyone is going to know.

Then, in a "bonehead of the year" award moment, Jack Ryan decided to respond by taking the offensive, challenging voters and the press and telling them "how dare you" delve into my public life, claiming it was hurting his children and that it was a "new low in politics." Apparently, Jack Ryan's own conduct wasn't harmful to his children or politics in any way...it's the press's fault!

The Democratic Nominee, Barack Obama, is leading the hapless Ryan by double digits in the Senate race, a seat formerly held by Republican Peter Fitzgerald (whom pete really liked but who was destroyed by Chicago's king Daley for opposing his airport machinations).

Isn't Illinois fun?

[Edit]Additional aside:

Four years ago we had a Republican governor here in Illinois who was about as corrupt as you can be: bribery, kickbacks, scandals galore. His name was GEORGE RYAN. He was forced by the party to retire so they would have a chance to win the statehouse back. The Republican nominee that replaced him was named JIM RYAN. And now JACK RYAN is running for senate.

ATTENTION ILLINOIS REPUBLICANS: RYAN was a crook. STOP NOMINATING PEOPLE NAMED RYAN.

That is all. [/edit]

Pete (loves wacky local politics)

[dczoner]

So, is this alec baldwin, harrison ford, or ben affleck?

[Mr B]

Jeri Ryan... yes, I admit it. I'm a dork who knows who she is. *drool*

[jesseenglish]

[m'sZ]

Pete, you got your wish as of today.

Also, where are these sex-clubs and how do I get in?