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I'm ****ing laughing so hard right now it's almost impossible to type this...
So after watching a few Alison Angel movies I get the urge to go on a kitten-killing spree. Open up a Masuimi Max vid and a few Naughty America flicks I dl'd. Also got a Naomi vid open.
Ready for business.
Fappin's away, kittens are dying mercilessly.
Gettin' ready to kill 'em all off and....
CRAMP
At the exact instant I'm stroking the death blow, my right leg cramps up. BAD. Possibly the worst leg cramp I've ever had in my life. So much pain. So much horror. So much...
I guess the instant pain from the cramp made me flex every muscle in my body. I musta shot about 6 feet in the air. Missed my face by inches. ****in' **** landed all over the place. Hit the top of my head, landed in my birthday cake, hit my mouse, laptop, ****ing everything. It was like gooey, kitten-death-filled rain.
But I can't move to do anything about it.
I'm in agonizing pain. I'm moaning like a 2 dollar hooker taking 3 dicks at once. I was REALLY loud. So loud, in fact, that one of the hotel workers knocked on the door. I was in too much pain to tell them to go away. I mean, I'm really ****ing howling.
So this mutha****a decides to open the damn door to see what's going on.
There's ****ing fap juice EVERYWHERE. I can't move. My tube steak is still in my hand. My shorts are at my ankles. WTF.
I'm really trying to get the words "GO THE **** AWAY" out, but I sounded like a retard with a mouth full of peanut butter.
The door opens.
IT'S A CHICK.
I don't even know what to type anymore. I can't imagine what she was thinking. All I remember was the look on her face... PRICELESS. It almost made my pain worth it. It was the craziest looking O face in the history of mankind. She froze in place for what felt like 10 minutes (more like 10 seconds though). Then, I swear on my sack...
She did that, exactly. I lol'd in between my yelps of pain. It made the leg cramp so worth it.
FOOTNOTES:
I fapped
I got leg cramp
I flung it everywhere, including my head and b-day cake
Immense pain
Hotel worker chick walks in
Kittens - 1/Tony - 0
*UPDATE FROM PAGE 3*
Quote:
Originally Posted by bboypuertoroc
LMAO... UPDATE:
Man, this girl must be shy as all hell or just embarrased out of her mind... she wouldn't even look at me or say anything when we passed in the halls on my floor. She walked with her head hung in shame.
I speak in past tense because... she got moved to a different floor yesterday. HA!!! I talked to one of the dudes that works on my floor and he told me she asked to be moved a few days ago but wouldn't say why.
So naturally, I told him. He lol'd.
I can now see this getting spread amongst the hotel staff. I'll be famous.
Whoever's reading this... it really is worth it to read all the posts, there's some funny **** in here.
__________________ Team DNF - Evo IX GSR - FPBlack - 10's on pump? Let's find out...
Last edited by bboypuertoroc; 11-28-2007 at 01:52 AM.
__________________ Nikki-350z Club of Fla 2003 Chrome silver 350z Vortech SC...finally! Injen SES exhaust, JWT flywheel/Clutch, DC headers, Megan test pipes, 19" Volk GT-7 Black Chrome, Flower power graphics, 132k miles...yipes!
[snsfw] So I'm killing some kittens...
Best thread evar !!1!!1111!!! 
Injen SES exhaust, JWT flywheel/Clutch, DC headers, Megan test pipes, 19" Volk GT-7 Black Chrome, Flower power graphics, 132k miles...yipes!
