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#1 | |
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Registered User
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I'm ****ing laughing so hard right now it's almost impossible to type this...
So after watching a few Alison Angel movies I get the urge to go on a kitten-killing spree. Open up a Masuimi Max vid and a few Naughty America flicks I dl'd. Also got a Naomi vid open. Ready for business. Fappin's away, kittens are dying mercilessly. Gettin' ready to kill 'em all off and.... CRAMP At the exact instant I'm stroking the death blow, my right leg cramps up. BAD. Possibly the worst leg cramp I've ever had in my life. So much pain. So much horror. So much... I guess the instant pain from the cramp made me flex every muscle in my body. I musta shot about 6 feet in the air. Missed my face by inches. ****in' **** landed all over the place. Hit the top of my head, landed in my birthday cake, hit my mouse, laptop, ****ing everything. It was like gooey, kitten-death-filled rain. But I can't move to do anything about it. I'm in agonizing pain. I'm moaning like a 2 dollar hooker taking 3 dicks at once. I was REALLY loud. So loud, in fact, that one of the hotel workers knocked on the door. I was in too much pain to tell them to go away. I mean, I'm really ****ing howling. So this mutha****a decides to open the damn door to see what's going on. There's ****ing fap juice EVERYWHERE. I can't move. My tube steak is still in my hand. My shorts are at my ankles. WTF. I'm really trying to get the words "GO THE **** AWAY" out, but I sounded like a retard with a mouth full of peanut butter. The door opens. IT'S A CHICK. I don't even know what to type anymore. I can't imagine what she was thinking. All I remember was the look on her face... PRICELESS. It almost made my pain worth it. It was the craziest looking O face in the history of mankind. She froze in place for what felt like 10 minutes (more like 10 seconds though). Then, I swear on my sack... She did that, exactly. I lol'd in between my yelps of pain. It made the leg cramp so worth it. FOOTNOTES: I fapped I got leg cramp I flung it everywhere, including my head and b-day cake Immense pain Hotel worker chick walks in ![]() Kittens - 1/Tony - 0 *UPDATE FROM PAGE 3* Quote:
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Evo IX GSR - FPRed, 30psi... will rape you in your sleep on Christmas. *Team DNF* Last edited by bboypuertoroc; 11-28-2007 at 01:52 AM. |
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#2 |
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bahahahahahhahahahha, roflmfao....wtf?
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Team DNF 2003 350Z BASE: 266whp & 243tq Lots of bolt-ons |
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#3 |
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was she fat? cause that wouldn't be as bad as havin a hot one walk in.
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#4 |
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There are no fat girls here. All the girls that work here are at least doable.
I'd give her a 5.5-6. I've seen her before several times (I've been here 2 months).
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Evo IX GSR - FPRed, 30psi... will rape you in your sleep on Christmas. *Team DNF* |
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#5 | |
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Quote:
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Team DNF 2003 350Z BASE: 266whp & 243tq Lots of bolt-ons |
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#6 |
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私にトレッドはありません
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Need a good laugh? ---> Click HERE '04 G35 Coupe R.I.P. || '06 G35 Coupe: Build in progress at Intense Power || '09 370Z 6MT Sport (new daily driver) |
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#7 | |
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Best thread evar !!1!!1111!!!
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Team DNF'sResident Muzclehead www.boostedimports.com ![]() Quote:
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#8 |
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Master
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I would said. Why are you standing there? Clean it up *****!
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#9 | |
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Quote:
That prolly woulda crossed my mind if I wasn't in such agonizing pain. I can still feel the knot now. I know if I move the wrong way (or fap the wrong way) it's gonna cramp again. It was one of those episodes when you stretch your legs out. you know? Got the full lean-back in the chair going on and ****. Won't be doing THAT again.
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Evo IX GSR - FPRed, 30psi... will rape you in your sleep on Christmas. *Team DNF* Last edited by bboypuertoroc; 11-23-2007 at 09:45 AM. |
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#10 |
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Oh, what's even worse about the cake part is that it's about 5 feet or so from where I'm sitting... BEHIND me.
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Evo IX GSR - FPRed, 30psi... will rape you in your sleep on Christmas. *Team DNF* |
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#11 |
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Shift_Boost
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how was the cake? lol
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Team DNF Triple OG - The Resident Chimney | Tag = SmellyNutButter | Braggin' Rights 2009 |
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#12 |
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I need an LSD!
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That has gotta be the funniest thing I have ever read in my life!!!
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Silver Alloy 07 base - Best Time-13.21 - Best Trap 108.16 - Fully sponsored by Visa and Mastercard. AAM 2.5 inch exhaust-test pipes-Technosquare. Student loans slowing the mods. 12s-coming soon |
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#13 | |
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Quote:
Somewhat sweet... somewhat salty.
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Evo IX GSR - FPRed, 30psi... will rape you in your sleep on Christmas. *Team DNF* |
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#14 |
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2004 350z (sold) || 2002 Maxima |
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#15 | |
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Quote:
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Team DNF 2003 350Z BASE: 266whp & 243tq Lots of bolt-ons |
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#16 |
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Banned
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Hahhaha Holy ****ing ****. If This Is True, This Is Possibly The Funniest Story I've Ever Heard.
I CANT STOP LAUGHING AT THE "EXACT SECOND IM STROKING THE DEATH BLOW." LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last edited by kayfuNk; 11-23-2007 at 11:05 AM. |
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#17 |
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Flower Power!
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that's a great story!
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Nikki-350z Club of Fla 2003 Chrome silver 350z Vortech SC...finally! |
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#18 |
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Forged Army
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that has to be the funniest **** i have heard in a while. Go get a profile from a fapping incident. . . lmao.
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International Beer Taster 2008 G37c Sport (TT project winter '09) Merry Christmas from the Stan |
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#19 |
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Banned
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rofl !
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#20 |
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Team DNF BiYM
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ahahhaha this is a great laugh
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TEAM DNF = VIRUS211 |
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