something i found on craigslist.
03-17-2008, 09:34 AM
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something i found on craigslist.
just wanted to share what i found on craigslist that had me laughing to the point i fell outta my chair...
"Recently, a fraternity of mice have elected to hold their evening meetings in my apartment. At first, they kept to themselves, meeting quietly and secretly within the walls, bothersome only to my dog whose keen sense of smell kept him awake at night sniffing along the baseboard.
But, in the last two days, the frat mice have become increasingly brazen - opting to haze their pledges in my kitchen with assignments such as "run across the counter top and come back with a crumb" or "take a **** in the sink."
Indeed, I've found several mouse deuce in the sink and the cabinet underneath.
The dog I mentioned earlier has become increasingly impatient with the Rho-dent chapter of Epsilon Epsilon Kappa (EEk!). He keeps me awake at night, sniffing and scratching the walls, trying to get the little rats out. The problem is, he never catches any and if he did, I'm sure he would only play with it or kill it and then bring it into my bed as a gift.
Basically, I don't want mice - dead or alive - in my apartment. I cannot bring myself to lay poison or set traps. Even the humane traps gross me out. I simply want them to stay away from my apartment.
Since my dog is no deterent, I need to bring in a professional. This is why I need to rent your cat. I have heard from other people that cats are very effective in warding off apartment mice. I'm no fan of felines, but I'll admit they are a bit sharper than dogs when it comes to plotting.
Since I am an animal lover, I will make sure your cat is well taken care of. I will also make other sleeping arrangements for my dog while your cat is here, since I am sure he will only hinder the operation.
I am willing to compensate your cat $15 a night for his/her work. My hope is that your cat can complete the mouse extermination faster than my building maintenance people can...a rather modest challenge.
Your cat should posess the following qualities:
(1) People friendly - no scratching or biting me
(2) Rodent hating - willing to scratch and bite mice
(3) Quick - these ****ers are fast
(4) Agile - no skidding into furniture head-first like my sloppy dog
(5) Ambitious - willing to hunt
(6) Keen sense of smell and high frequency hearing - must be able to stalk prey effectively
A proven track record of rodent trapping and extermination is preferred. References suggested.
Please email me with your cat's photo and resume as soon as possible. I am currently awake 24/7 and will be until this problem is resolved.
Thank you."
"Recently, a fraternity of mice have elected to hold their evening meetings in my apartment. At first, they kept to themselves, meeting quietly and secretly within the walls, bothersome only to my dog whose keen sense of smell kept him awake at night sniffing along the baseboard.
But, in the last two days, the frat mice have become increasingly brazen - opting to haze their pledges in my kitchen with assignments such as "run across the counter top and come back with a crumb" or "take a **** in the sink."
Indeed, I've found several mouse deuce in the sink and the cabinet underneath.
The dog I mentioned earlier has become increasingly impatient with the Rho-dent chapter of Epsilon Epsilon Kappa (EEk!). He keeps me awake at night, sniffing and scratching the walls, trying to get the little rats out. The problem is, he never catches any and if he did, I'm sure he would only play with it or kill it and then bring it into my bed as a gift.
Basically, I don't want mice - dead or alive - in my apartment. I cannot bring myself to lay poison or set traps. Even the humane traps gross me out. I simply want them to stay away from my apartment.
Since my dog is no deterent, I need to bring in a professional. This is why I need to rent your cat. I have heard from other people that cats are very effective in warding off apartment mice. I'm no fan of felines, but I'll admit they are a bit sharper than dogs when it comes to plotting.
Since I am an animal lover, I will make sure your cat is well taken care of. I will also make other sleeping arrangements for my dog while your cat is here, since I am sure he will only hinder the operation.
I am willing to compensate your cat $15 a night for his/her work. My hope is that your cat can complete the mouse extermination faster than my building maintenance people can...a rather modest challenge.
Your cat should posess the following qualities:
(1) People friendly - no scratching or biting me
(2) Rodent hating - willing to scratch and bite mice
(3) Quick - these ****ers are fast
(4) Agile - no skidding into furniture head-first like my sloppy dog
(5) Ambitious - willing to hunt
(6) Keen sense of smell and high frequency hearing - must be able to stalk prey effectively
A proven track record of rodent trapping and extermination is preferred. References suggested.
Please email me with your cat's photo and resume as soon as possible. I am currently awake 24/7 and will be until this problem is resolved.
Thank you."
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03-17-2008, 10:29 AM
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Originally Posted by skr00ball
That is really funny, good find. What exactly were you searching for when you found that?
03-17-2008, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted by runz
doberman puppies.. my lone dobie needs a life partner.. haha
