Dude.

That is some messed up stuff.

My g/f and I have been dating a long time, but we have very open communication, and both of us are responsible for our own monetary issues.

If she implicitly obligated you to pay for her A4 w/o consulting you, when she knew you had a Z on order, she obviously doesn't give a **** about you.

Or, she has other plans. I know several people who have been surprised by kids, only to find out later the g/f (not wife!) stopped taking the pill purposefully...

 

I don't think she should have gotten the A4 with out you knowing about it. If you've had your car on pre-order for that period of time, and SHE KNEW ABOUT IT, no that is wrong. I would have HER pay for her A4 and YOU pay for YOUR Z. This is how women mark their territory man, you gotta watch out. Either way, isnt the Z and A4 almost the same price? I think that was completely wrong of her to do that. She knew you bought the Z and YOU dont know she bought the A4, just wrong.... this whole situation is f***ed up.... I hope you get your Z at the end man.

Good Luck, You'll need it.
Magalie

 

Hang on, hang on, we may not have a full set of facts here.

Suppose ccns23 has a relatively new car, and his girl has been driving a rusty Buick LeSabre with 175,000 miles on it since high school? Would it be fair to give her a hand-me-down that she doesn't even want or get to pick just because he wants yet another new car? Of course, I don't know anything like this is the case, but it just goes to show that we're only seeing one side of the story, here. There's plenty of available scenarios that would make this situation seem a lot less lopsided.

I also think it's fairly irrelevant that they're not married. An increasing number of people are deciding to stay together for the long term without getting married, if for no other reason than for simplicity and the significant tax advantage.

So, give the man a break and let him tell his story. It's bad enough that he's not going to get his Z without you guys calling him childish names.

Just my .02.

 

>>>Suppose ccns23 has a relatively new car, and his girl has been driving a rusty Buick LeSabre with 175,000 miles on it since high school? Would it be fair to give her a hand-me-down that she doesn't even want or get to pick just because he wants yet another new car?<<<

What does this have to do with anything. They aren't married! If he were to give her his old car, that wouldn't be fair? Not fair that you are getting a car for free? If she wants a new car, I'd tell her to buy it herself.

 

Bwahahahaha...

That's a good one.....

I'll put that one up for next years nobel prize in mathematics.

 

When we were going to buy a much larger house (which fell through, unfortunately) my wife wouldn't dream of even letting me cancel my order. We just bought her IS300 in December and she said sell it instead, I have waited too long for this one!

 

As I said in my post, not everybody who's planning on staying together for life gets married! Look at your calendar, check the year. This ain't the 50s.

Pretend they were married. Does my scenario make a little more sense then? If so, what difference does a piece of paper from your local government make?? Legal marriage is a freakin' formality, especially these days- check the divorce rates.

Look, he's been with her for seven years, it's not like she's wandered in in the last six months and took over his finances, okay? For all intents and purposes, we know they're a very-long-term couple, so much so that they're planning to buy a house together, and the ethics of large purchases comes into play in such cases. If you got the last big toy, it's her turn. That's only reasonable.

Other scenarios:

What if this girl has been putting him through college for the last four years? What if he's a Wal*Mart stocker and she's a well-paid engineer, and she's been supporting his lifestyle for a while? (I actually know a couple like this! He b--ches all the time because she won't let him buy new motorcycles and the like, when she's already supporting him!) In such cases, would it not be reasonable for her to get a new car, not him, assuming they're pooling their finances as a permanent couple??

Bottom line: we have only one side of the story and very few details. Let's not go passing big judgements on either him or her until we do, mmkay?

 

CCNZ,

Look. I've been married 3 (or was it 4?) times. Whatever. Whoever said it will only get worse is right on the $ (no pun intended) about this. I don't think you should be called names, but this is NO SH*T-she's got your # man. I speak from experience. Thank God it happened only once. Boy, was I lucky when she left me. (Yeah, if you see this you know who you are.) Life got real again. Believe me-none of it is worth parting with your new Z or your pride. I need to chill.

 

I misspelled your name, man. Sorry.

 

(ahem) Risking Jman's wrath...... beware relationship advice from someone who's been married four times. Even sombody from the excellent town of Greenville, SC.

(AXJ now puts on flame suit....)

 

Well, I've only been married once, and I still am. That sucks about the Z. My wife took one look at it and said "Yeah" She can't wait either. In fact, since I've got two more years of school, she's paying for it!! Sweet! I'm pretty lucky, though, the only big thing she was gonna buy without permission was our Big screen. But I understand saving for a house, too. I just feel bad for this guy.

 

I know what I'm talking about. I wouldn't let Dr. Bonz or 15 blade operate on me if they hadn't been in an OR. And what's Greenville got to do with it? Not to worry. I impervious the this type reaction. Instead of "Bring on the babes", "Let's bring on the Z's.!!

 

CCNZ, Man you need a PEP Talk!!!!Most of the guys on this board maybe had to get there significant others approval to get the Z. My wife and I didn't agree at first but she finally got it through her head that it's the Z and thats final. What makes my situation different is that it was either the Z or the G35C. I guess her main point was that I wasn't thinking about our family growing. (She wanted the coupe) I asked her how many times has she rode in my car in the pass year? She said twice....I rest my case....I really don't no what you are going through but you gotta get some nutts on this one. If I can do it and I have a 9 month old...please...you can. I understand the 7 years and all but lets face it. If it hasn't happened yet there is definately a problem. She must not have any girlfriends in her ear asking her when is he going to ask you to tie the knot. To be so young and let someone make a decision that basically tells you"I got mine before you so, you'll have to take yours back" It's like the mans version of having an orgasm and falling asleep while she sits there wondering what about me. Paybacks a mother. But serious...for her to bring home another car without consulting you (by the way that's really strange) is out of the question the most downright show of WOMANPOWER I've ever heard of. You gotta protect the homeplate here. I'm starting to think this is maybe a money issue. I have a Toyota Highlander so the babymobile is in play. Dude you have NO KIDS.... Get your Z and get an apartment. I'm sure you'll attract a future wife with your Z. Whats really sad is most of these guys have been where you're going. They know...7 years with someone you love doesn't mean a thing without respect. When you move on and you will...You'll probably find someone else and be married within a year. Not saying you'll never marry her...just saying after 7 years it's highly unlikely. OK I'm done...Get your Z.....I've noticed that you haven't responded to what everyones saying here. Let your Girlfriend read this forum. This is for her.."That was a selfish move".

 

Hey JMAN, looks like we need a new topic here, how about ADVICE FOR THE LOVELORN. But seriously, although I agree his relationship from the outside looks kinda odd (and I attempted a semi-humerous post early in this thread about it), I'm thinkin maybe we aren't really qualified to give this guy advice on whether he should end a 7 year relationship based on two one sentence posts, especially considering the gf has not weighed in. How about we head back to important Z TOPICS like JUST HOW THICK IS THE PLASTIC THAT HOLDS ON THE GAS CAP GONNA BE. Damn, I guess I should have posted that as a new thread...que sera sera.

 

Robbyn you're a lawyer right? Give our friend some good advice like....What's the percentage that his relationship will end up in court.

I do agree... 7 years is married in some states.

 

I'm afraid family law is not my area of practice (its patent litigation BTW) but I know that generally you are not common law married unless you hold yourself out as married. If you ever hold yourself out as married, then it depends what state your in regarding the time frame necessary before you become common law married. I have a vague recollection that in some southern state (maybe SC) that if you spend one night together claiming to be married...guess what....YOU'RE MARRIED....(but don't quote me on that, just have a vague law school recollection of some actor's bimbo who tried to claim they were married based on a night they spent together in a southern state).

 

ahahahaha...aw man that was funny!

I'll have to show that to my dad.