Bob, you useless turd... fix the damn problem.

 

im talking to feliz atm, my name is bob.

Felix: Welcome to Live Help! How can I assist you today?
Bob: Part #5410482
Bob: We should get on that Felix, I dont think we should keep lying to our customers.
Felix: What is the Year, Make, and Model of your vehicle?
Bob: 08 nissan 350z
Bob: maybe a 02
Bob: but thats moot point
Bob: Probelem is, you guys are trying to sale a product with false advertising and you were notified over 2 weeks ago about it and still have not done anything about it.
Bob: No response felix?
Bob: Come on! this is bob, im one desk over and 12 back. Stand up!
Felix: Please allow me to look into the information for you. Would you mind holding a moment?

 

 

I got hung up on


Live chat is always open. A sales professional will be with you shortly. Sales support is also available 24 hours a day by calling our toll free number. We look forward to providing you outstanding customer service.
You are now chatting with 'Rex'
Rex: Welcome to Live Help! How can I assist you today?
Miguel: I'm very dismayed Rex.
Miguel: Part #5410482
Rex: Looking to order this part?
Miguel: I spoke with "Bob" two weeks ago about the false advertising associated with this part and he assured me it would be fixed within 1-2 weeks and it still hasen't.
Miguel: Can you explain to me why?
Rex: It may be due to technical problem.
Miguel: What sort of technical problem would inhibit your company from changing the HP numbers that are claimed on the advertisement to actual HP gain numbers?
Rex: I apologize for the inconvenience.
Miguel: So what will be done to fix it?
Rex: It will be done soon
Miguel: Soon is quite a variable measure of time. Please tell me what "soon" should mean to me.
Miguel: Do you have a supervisor Rex?
Rex: You can call us at 1-800-859-0923 and ask for supervisor
Miguel: If I dial that number I would love to speak to you Rex. Can I ask for you?
Rex: Sorry
Rex: I am only for the chat support.
Miguel: So then let's chat Rex...
Miguel: You have no problem working for a company that blatantly false advertises?
Miguel: Rex, I thought you were for the chat support?
Miguel: Have you left me Rex?
Rex: No
Miguel: You're not really efficient at this chat thing. I'm winning 4-1
Miguel: How are you going to fix my problem if you didn't even ask me what the problem was with the HP numbers?
Rex: Please explain it to me
Miguel: The HP numbers that your site publishes for the part # referenced above are entirely inflated and false. The company that manufactures that product only claims 19HP and your company claims 50HP. Regardless of the fact that the product has been proven to only deliver approximately 4HP
Miguel: Your claims are ten times that of reality.
Rex: I apologize for that
Rex: We will update it soon
Miguel: Now I know when you ask people how big your ***** is and they say 5" that's an exageration that you accept and enjoy. But when it comes to HP Rex we need to be honest.
Miguel: By telling me that you apologize Rex are you acknowledging that these claims by your company are fictitious?
Miguel: Or are you waiting for me to feel satisfied in the belief that you are actually going to update this product when in all reality you aren't so that I will go away and leave you alone?
Miguel: Rex do you realize that your longest response to me during this whole conversation was "Welcome to Live Help! How can I assist you today?"
Chat session has ended.

 

First off let me note that I DO NOT speak Spanish. I used babelfish as a translator so I already know that the Spanish is not going to be correct.

You are now chatting with 'Rex'
Rex: Welcome to Live Help! How can I assist you today?
Sal: ¿Hola Rex cómo es usted?
Rex: Sorry we support only english
Sal: ¿usted tiene gusto de tomarlo en el extremo?
Sal: no hablo inglés.
Sal: do work with someone speak spanish?
Rex: No
Sal: your mother spoke spanish last night when she was screaming "AY PAPI" when I had her bent over...anyways call her up to translate...
Chat session has ended.

 

^lmao!

 

You are now chatting with 'Sean'
Sean: Welcome to Live Help! How can I assist you today?
Carlos: Yes I wanted to buy the AFE cold air intake for the 350Z but I had a question about it.
Sean: What is the Year, Make, and Model of your vehicle?
Carlos: 2004 Nissan 350Z
Sean: May I have the Part Number (or SKU) Please.....
Carlos: #5410482
Sean: May I have your question please?
Carlos: It says the intake gives you 50 additional HP. That seems like a very good amount for the price. Is that true or a typo?
Sean: Sorry It is a typo..
Carlos: Oh, ok I figured as much. What should it be then?
Carlos: Still sounds like a decent price though.
Sean: It will get you 15-20 HP increase
Sean: May I know where are you located?
Carlos: Maryland, does that make a difference in the HP?
Sean: Yes
Carlos: Wow, I didn't know that. How?
Sean: AFE Cold Air Intake Cost is $315.95
Carlos: Price is relative to HP?
Sean: Sorry I do not know how..
Sean: Yes
Sean: UPS ground is free on over $50.00, takes 5-7 business days.This applies to the continental 48 states.
Sean: Looking to order this?
Carlos: You meen contiguous?
Carlos: All 50 states are on this continent... I think.
Sean: It is 50 states legal
Carlos: Even with that much HP?
Sean: Yes
Carlos: Wow, I could probably strap that thing to my butt and fly to one of them two states that aren't on this continent. Right?
Sean: Can you please click here
Sean: This is your Quote Number: 485182
Sean: Click on the above link
Sean: Enter the quote number
Sean: Click Go
Carlos: Are you going to change that HP claim so that other midgets like me don't make the same mistake?
Sean: Yes I will update this to my superiors
Sean: Have you checked the link?
Carlos: Yes.
Sean: Click "CHECKOUT" & Proceed with the Secured Billing
Carlos: I checked it and it is definitely a link. Good job with that one Sean.
Sean: Please let me know once you complete the order so that I can create a free account to track your order
Carlos: Who said I was going to order this piece of ****?
Sean: Sorry then..
Sean: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Carlos: I think I love you Sean.
Carlos: Don't you feel like we really have something here?
Carlos: I mean I feel this connection between you and I...
Sean: Thank you for visiting our website. Please take the time now to add us to your favorites. Click "Close" button at the top right to end this chat and answer a few questions about your experience.
Sean: Have a Good one..
Carlos: Like the connection between a toilet bowl and the sewage drain...
Sean: Bye
Chat session has been terminated!

 

You are now chatting with 'Lea'
Lea: Welcome to Live Help! How can I assist you today?
Rufus: Hi Lea.
Lea: hello
Rufus: I gots me a couple questions bout a under car light kit.
Lea: Okay
Rufus: I seen one on your website but I don't know if its gonna fits my car.
Lea: May I have the Part Number (or SKU) Please.....
Rufus: yah its gonna be #US-NUCB
Lea: What is the Year, Make, and Model of your vehicle?
Rufus: i gots me a 1990 ford festiva LIMITED edition
Lea: Festiva L 88-93 L4 1.3
Lea: Festiva L Plus 90-90 L4 1.3
Lea: Festiva LX 88-92 L4 1.3
Lea: which one is your car?
Lea: is it L, L plus or LX?
Rufus: its the l plus. LIMITED EDITION
Lea: Okay
Rufus: the one with the extra cup holder
Lea: Kit Includes 2 - 36" Neon Tubes For The Front And Rear, And 2 - 48" Neon Tubes For The Sides
Lea: it is blue
Lea: Underbody Light Kit Best Electronics brand will cost you $69.35
Lea: This part will fit the model of your vehicle
Rufus: yes i know all that, but am i gonna get hassled by the cops if i put this on
Lea: shall i get it for you?
Rufus: i dont wanna be ridin' dirty, ya know what i mean?
Lea: yes..
Lea: i understand....
Lea: shall i get it for you?
Rufus: you aint answer my question
Rufus: is it illegal to put it on?
Lea: it is legal
Lea: =)
Rufus: so i can ride blue while im driving?
Lea: yes
Lea: definetely!
Lea: shall i get it for you?
Rufus: how much weight is this gonna add to my car
Rufus: i mean i dont wanna hurt the performance
Rufus: this is a LIMITED edition ya know?
Lea: yes
Lea: however this item will not affect the performance of your car
Rufus: would you recommend this product for my ride?
Lea: yes
Lea: =)
Rufus: would you use it?
Lea: yes
Rufus: so you would ride dirty?
Lea: yes
Rufus: if i get this and put it on you wanna ride dirty with me?
Lea: is there anything else that you need?
Rufus: yeah
Rufus: can you find me some fuzzy dice that'll fit my ride
Lea: are you interested in placing an order?
Rufus: if you find me some dice woman
Lea: Thank you for visiting our website. Please take the time now to add us to your favorites. Click "Close" button at the top right to end this chat and answer a few questions about your experience.
Rufus: look this is a LIMITED EDITION
Rufus: it deserves dice and neon
Rufus: hook it up girl
Rufus: I love you Lea.

 

OMG!!! This **** is f-ing funny! It's the VQ Crank Yankers hour!!!

I wish there was a way to vote on each

 

lmao, keep em coming!

 

Isn't that Jenna Jameson's motto?

 

Lol This is some funny ****

 

I could use some help here, I'm running out of ideas. Besides the fact that I'm on a government computer and hoping that these people really don't get ticked off and trace the IP and report it.

 

ask em what you need to "pimp yo ride"

 

F em... if they weren’t false advertising and refusing to correct it this wouldn’t happen.

 

To me it seems like they have a valid claim on the HP. It says if your air box is broken then it will add 50hp. It doesn't say if your air box is in good shape it will add 50hp, just if it's broken.

 

WTF

 

I'm guessing and hoping he isn't serious...

 

It's probably Bob.

 

LOL it's fun to f*uck with those 24 hour support people. I should have copied the test here, but I had the guy tell me that the intake increases HP by 50 and Torque by 100, depending on the application. haha what a hoot