Where-ever rice gathers, so do police for some odd reason. Out of this weekend, I have learned never to travel in packs larger than 4 otherwise things listed below tend to happen. The weekend starts off with DaveFunction2nd getting himself pulled over for no apparent reason.... so I might as well snap pictures while he's getting harassed since I'm such a wonderful friend!

Location: Rockville, MD - Flagship carwash


Umzzz + C5_Vette: ".... what did he get pulled over for?"
me: ".... speeding??! ..... or must've busted a drift while pulling into the lot like he always does."

*My cool Latin Loops ring tone goes off*

(On Phone):
Dave: "Hey... someone's going to have to drive my car back to my house, apparently my license is suspended"
Me: "From what?!"
Dave: "NO CLUE!!"
Me: "WTF happened... did you get caught drifting?"
Dave: "Nah... they said my 3rd brake light was out..."
Me: "... uh.. thats IT?!?! Why does it take 3 cops to pull you over for THAT?!?"
Dave: "They must be doing some training or something.."

*I walk over there since I'll be the DD*

Me: (in a very cool excited tone) "Hey What's Going On Officers!!!!"
Police: "Are you driving his car? Got some ID?"

Dave seen getting unFunctionTUNED:


I then spot the cop randomly looking through a cookbook on Dave's trunk:


Me: "What's for dinner??"
Officer: "Oh, this is a magazine to identify different types of drugs"

He shows me the cover, it's labeled "Sweet Drugs!" Half the pills and powders look like cookies and caps of Tylenol. He then flips through the pages educating me on random drugs and how it could look like your everyday items like brown sugar or other baking materials.

Cop looking through the trunk:


Me: *whisper to Dave* ".... are ... you... serious.... they're actually ... checking for.. druuugs?!?.... and they yanked you for a brake light that's out?!?" *I do my best to contain my laughter*
Dave: "Training I tell ya, but it's whatever"

*Cop interjects halfway through our conversation*

Cop: "ah-HA! What is THIS?!?!"

He apparently was really happy to find a pill with a "E" label on the ground.

Dave: "Headache medicine... it's called Excedrin"
Cop: "So where's the bottle then???"
Dave: "Check the glove-box and if not, check my laptop case."

*He finds the bottle*

Cop: "oh...."


Cop lecturing Dave that his license had been suspended, whooptie doodles!


After they had found NOTHING and wasted a lot of our time, we pulled into the cleaning bay and Dave asks Umzzz to step on the brakes... and whadda ya know:



3rd brake light friggin... WORKS!!!

Dave = unFunctionTUNED!!!

-------------The Day of the Meet: KingsTowne Town Center: Toys R' Us--------------

We were traveling in a pack of roughly 10 cars down 495 toward Springfield area, music blasted, windows down, sunglasses on, slouched in seat, driving w/ 1 arm, @ high RPM's so exhaust will be at it's LOUDEST in order to achieve badass status n strike fear upon any oncoming rice... ok I'm lying, we just wanted to look COOL ok?!? Leave us Alone!!

Suddenly, my V1 goes CRAAAZY and these dam rice buckets are zooming by me since I was the first one to stomp on the brakes. I high-beam Umzzz (leading the group) aka "Slow The Friiik Down!!!" so he mashes the brakes and the whole group comes to a halting 45mph cruise.. (on a 55mph highway)

(Yeah, we are SOOO non-obvious ricers by doing that!)

We spot this cop on the side of the road radar'ing everyone as they pass by on the very left lane. I immediately switch over to the middle lanes and keep a good watch-out in my rear-view mirror to see what this cop would do.

*BAM* all of a sudden my radar detector detected no more radar signal. I see the cop creeping out of his parking spot and start to follow us...

*Cop gets right behind JuanFunction2nd and flicks on his Christmas lights*

I see Juan start to veer over to the emergency lane... but the cop doesn't stop, he passes Juan and continues to follow someone else...

*Cop gets behind another one of our guys, I believe it was Bigslim but I wasn't sure since there are too many dam Silver Z's*

I see him begin to pull over but the cop KEEPS on GOIN! Now he really has me confused as who he wants to pull over, obviously we all were traveling the speed limit???

*Cop gets behind me*

I figure, "Oh, he's probably gonna do the same thing, I'll just let him pass..."

*I change over to the right lane*
*Cop changes over to the right lane behind me*

Me: "CRAP!!!"

*I txt message everyone that I am getting unFunctionTUNED*



*I yank my radar off my visor and toss in under the passenger seat n tuck in all the dangling cords... quickly grab my registration, take out my ID, turn off car, throw keys onto dash, hands @ 10 o'clock and 1 o'clock, I knew the drill... add the word "SIR!" when I finish every sentence. I wasn't speeding obviously.. I HAD THIS CHIT!!!*

*hands over my registration and ID*

Cop: "We in a hurry today???"
Me: (All Smiles) "No SIR!"
Cop: "Where are you guys going?"
Me: "What guys??! "
Cop: "....You're friends??"
Me: "I don't know those guys, we just happen to have the same car traveling in the same direction, I only know one of them which was the white one, sir."
Cop: "Step out of the car"
Me: (HUGE SMILE) "Not a problem SIR! Sure THING!!!"

*We walk toward the back of my car and he points at my bumper*

Cop: "Do you know this is illegal?"
Me: (thinking... after market bumpers are illegal.. what is he on crack?!?... unless he was pointing at my spoiler which is used as a dining table from time to time) "ah... It is??!"
Cop: *points closer* "Your tail lights, they're black, that's illegal"
Me: "Yes, I suppose they ARE quite illegal aren't they! You are absolutely correct sir."
Cop: "They're usually used for racing"
Me: (once again, he got me confused, I'm thinking this guy makes no sense whatsoever and/or is super bored or ran outta donuts)

Cop: "I saw you guys slowing down, I figured I might as well look for illegal equipment on your vehicles"
Me: "Yeah, that's because we saw you sir." (probably the dumbest answer I could've given)
Cop: "Get back in the car"

*I pull out my phone and start to snap pictures like a geek*

*5 mins pass...*
.
.
..
....
*10 mins pass.....*
..
.
......

(WTF is taking so LONG?!?!)

He gets out of his car and shows me the ticket:

Cop: "This is ticket for illegal equipment, $30 fine, I suggest you pre-pay it, there are no points."

Me: *whew!!* "THANK YOU SIR!!!... have a nice day SIR!" (thinking: this is the best ticket I have EVER gotten!!!)

He was probably like.. "WTF is this guy so happy about??!"

Me: *mumbling* "....Good thing you missed my radar detector... no front plate.... and us flying down the highway......"

I keep my revs under 2k rpms so he doesn't hear my exhaust and quickly get out of there before he starts his car to avoid getting yanked for no front plate either. *Snap* Radar goes back on Visor - (Cop out of rear-view) ..... ZOOOOOM red-line it all the way to the MEET (ricer style)!!! WooHoo!!"

 

-------------Kingstowne Town Center Meet @ Toys R' Us--------------

I was the very last one to arrive @ the meet while people were planning on rolling out. I roll down the window holding my ticket out while pulling into the lot in victory.

Everyone: "What did he get you for?!?!"
Me: "the stupid tail lights!"

HAHAHAHA!!!

Everyone: ".. what that's IT?!?!"

Here we picture Tyler_Durden getting himself unFunctionTUNED via marraige!


He had to sell the Z otherwise the lady would've put the smack down on his azz. In turn, he bought a "family car"


We all then decided to roll up to Tysons Corner Mall since all the ricers were hungry, here was the caravan crew - 8-10 cars (btw, bad idea! Read on!):



The group somehow gets split up but we managed to gather back together in one big happy family @ Tysons food court:

Mondi looking clueless and JuanFunction2nd in the white shirt standing more cluelessly listening to Kieran@DrivenDynamics BS story:


Kieran@DrivenDynamics below (codename: Brown Rice, w/ a Masters Degree in BS):

Kieran: "Dude.. we were racing a Ferrari! He then let us test drive his car!"

Yadda yadda yadda, BS BS BS!

Some other dude: "Yeah man, I got pictures n video on my phone!"

Everyone: "Show us!"

Some other dude: "uh.. but my camera is locked up right now..."

BS Alert!!!

Those suckers were just LOST, 2 guilty party (on the left)members are seen below, and Umzzz looking clueless:


Here we see Malikot listening to the BS and getting lectured by Ted on RX-8's:


Kieran's best friend:


Group *deciding on what to do*

Me: "Let's hit up some twisties!!!"

-------------Twisty Hunting: Night of Kingstowne Meet--------------

I know of a few tight azz roads in the great falls area so we do it "initial D style" through the corners like madmen. Again and again we hit the roads till the point where there were a few people left behind and the whole group eventually got split in 3. I found myself sitting alone waiting at a metro stop, my phone going off non-stop from ricers calling and people going, "Where is everyone?!?!"

I get Ted on the phone and he says we need to go back and look for these lost ducks and I manage to meet up with half the group on the side of one of the twisty roads we were just on.

There are roughly 8 of us parked on the side of the road with our emergency lights on (How so NOT obvious and non-attention getty!) People were slowing down to see what in the world was going on! And so did the cops.

Cop on left, JuanFunction2nd on right:


Ted: "Oh CHIT oh CHIT!! Time to get out of here guys!"

We all start walking back slowly toward our cars to make it look non-obvious of suspicious activity.

Cop: "SO! What's going on here guys??!?"
Juan: "oh we're just waiting for a few lost people sir."
Cop: "I got a call in that there was some kinda fight or some disturbance of some sort?!?"
Juan: "hahaha no sir, there is no fight here!"
Cop: "Are you sure?? People have been complaining that they were hearing loud noises in the areas of [Area A], [Area B], [Area C], and [Area D] (aka, ALL the areas we were at!) Were you guys in those areas?

Me: "No Sir! We're just waiting for a few people"
Juan: "We're heading up to Maryland, some people just get lost around these parts."

*2nd cop pulls up...*
..
...
..

*3rd cop pulls up...*
.

..

..
...

*4th cop pulls up!!!*



Cop: "yeah, some residents called in saying there was something going on"
Juan: "Nope, not a problem here sir"
Me: "They must have called for something else! We have no idea what's going on Sir!"



That was my 2nd cop encounter that day... can we make it a record for a 3rd this week? Yes we can!

-------------Next Day: Rain Drifting--------------

[Car 1. Me, my GF]
[Car 2. DaveFunction2nd, C5_Vette]

Dave: "Hey let's go drifting since it's nice outside"
Me: "I know of this awesome secluded lot away from heavy traffic and with loads of space!"

*We arrive at this mysterious lot*

C5_Vette: "Holy crap! Why didn't you tell us earlier about this lot?!?!?"
Me: "Because I just found it 2hrs ago!"

*mood music: Tokyo Drift soundtrack*

After a few awesome rounds of donuts and drifts (DARN we didn't have a camera!), Dave's Japanese half wanted to add some flava' into the twists n turns by having his door swung open and waving 1 hand out the window while going sideways. I was parked on the side of the lot watching the action unfold until suddenly a car comes whooshing into the parking lot.

Me: "Oh CHIT!! A COP!! How da HELLLLZ did he FIND US all the way back here?!?!?"

*Cop Flicks on his lights while Dave is still doing donuts around the lot*

Dave sees the cop finally, closes his door, pulls his arms back in, and comes to a screeching halt.

Me: *whispers to my gf* "ok... we're going to make a run for it..." (thinking: he can only catch ONE of us)

I position myself diagonally from the cop using Dave's car to shield my rear plate. I sit there and patiently wait for the cop to exit his car for me to make a run for it. I roll up my windows just in-case he yells at me to try to get me to stop so I can tell him in court later that I convienantly "didn't hear him!" in case there would be some sort of chase out of this parking lot...

*Cop opens his door...*

*steps out...*

*walks a few feet toward Dave*

Me: (thinking: ok, he's far enough to not get back into his car and a great distance for me to make a RUN for it!)

*I Mashed the gas and quickly got the F outta there!*

*heart pumping like I ran a marathon: adrenaline out the roof!!!*

My GF: " OMG.. what's going to happen to Dave??!"
Me: "I have no idea, but his license is suspended and he was doing donuts! That's straight reckless right there, I hope I don't have to pull him out of jail. All I know is I'm gettin the F' outta here, this is how we roll. The theory is, if one of us gets caught, everyone else leaves or else the whole group gets a ticket"

*I frantically jump the speed bumps nearly destroying my undercarraige to safely get out of the area and not to get ANOTHER court appearance ticket*

*hit a red light*

Me: "Oh CRAP!!" *takes another turn out hitting up all the backroads known to man and unknown to cops*

I finally arrive home and wait anxiously for Dave's call...

5 mins pass....
.
..
...

10 mins pass...

.
...
.....
.....

30 mins pass!!!...

.
...
*Latin Loops goes off again*

Me: "Hello HELLO?!?!?!" Are you ok?!"
Dave: "Hey, can you call someone to come pick me up out of jail."
Me: "WTF are you serious?!?"
Dave: "Hahahaha, just kidding, I just got a reckless ticket... still got that hookup?"
Me: "But your license is suspended, how did you get away with that?"
Dave: "Private property, technically I wasn't even 'driving' but if I got caught doing this on the public street, then we would've been in trouble. The cop said that you would have been in big trouble if he caught you."
Me: "Good thing I got the F' outta there then."
Dave: "Apparently the building security called it in, but the cop was highly amused at what I was doing!"
C5_Vette: "Yeah, that cop was cool as anything! But he had to give Dave the ticket since 2 other cops showed up, I thought he was going to let us go for a second there. He must've been one of those guys back in the days doing donuts and such in a parking lot, he knew EXACTLY what we were doing... minus the whole opening your door part"
Me: "Did he ask about me?"
Dave: "yeah, he said, 'was your friend in the Z doing it too??! he's lucky he got away' but I told him you were just watching so he couldn't do crap anyways. The bad news is that if there are tire marks on the ground the next morning, we could be charged with destruction of property. The cop asked us, 'do you guys have anything else better to do on a Sunday night?' I just told him, '*shrugs* this is just what we do!'"

(for some reason, that just sounds so rice to me)

I was going to snap a picture but I was too freaked out.

My Gf: "OMG, I am dating such a Ricer"
Me: "and you LOVE IT!"
My GF: "Yeah it's kinda hot"

THE END.......................................... until chap 3.

 

man you guys are lucky those cops showed up when people got lost ...i was about to kick all your asses!

good times this weekend...i have a feeling we will be writing chapter 3 this weekend in OC!

 

you my friend, are amusing, but in possession of entirely too much free time

Nice to know cops harass other people besides us.

 

Damn ricers at it again! I need to start coming out for this kind of excitement!!

 

LOL-crazy weekend...so the cops pulled over Dave for a brake light and it worked? Id take that garbage to court. Or did he fix it immediately?

 

dude he pulls over to the bay and is like umar hit the brake real quick...bam it turns on...who knows!

 

LOL.. dear lord Ahn.. great stories Sounds like a heck of a weekend!

*damn ricers*

 

VA cops are gay, I had one write the serial # of my "unplugged" V1 down, you were there Umar-on the way back from Z day Z...

 

haha, you always have plenty of stories. im thinkin OC will def be interesting

 

I was at the last OC event..... I cant wait

 

haha yea i remember the best part of that was while you got pulled over i stopped further up on the highway to wait for you and a cop pulls up behind me...walks over and looks through the passenger side window

cop: is everything aright?
me: yea im just waiting for my buddy we got split up
cop: ok pull up a little further off the highway this isn't a good place to stop:

i realized afterwards that my radar detector was mounted on the windshield in plain site and still turned on!

 

LOL. Good times.... How did you manage to take pics of all the cops when they showed up? I didn't see any phone out or anything. You sir, are a ninja.

 

It was definetly an interesting weekend to say the least..........

not only did said police show up multiple times... but after dave got pulled over on friday, my car got towed later that night while we were playing pool ... hopefully we have fufilled our cop quota for the year..........

 

my car will now be staying at dave's shop bc i'm too afraid to get pulled over from the shop to fairfax town center lol

 

Whoa.. wait a minute.. so Dave got a wreckless driving ticket ? Thats UBER bad now.. he could face up to $3000.00 in fines

 

I thought Dave still lived in MD. If so, then he's okay. These great new laws only target VA residents.

 

Dude, you gotta do that stealth install. What did I tell you before? The arrows FTW!

 

Nope he lives in the great state of VA

 

VA is for lovers... no wait, I mean suckers! LOL j/k