The photo below is an indicator of only the START of all the unFunction:TUNING that

would happen to take place over that weekend in Ocean City Maryland:

Ethan's (bb1314) pulls up to the usual meeting spot in Rockville prior to the OC meet to

display his exterior modification via poop mod.

I ran on Asian Time this round and arrived @ the spot 1hr late, but that's ok! Cuz I brought

a car chick along! We met @ the Nissan Dealership in my area prior to the meet to

cruise up together. The car salesmen were trying to flirt n get their game on her (which was

horrible BTW)which I found quite entertaining and hilarious. Anyways:

As Promised to all the readers of Chap 2. pictures of the girl I randomly met @ on the

parking deck and her LS 350z:

Teaser Alert!

I don't want to post any pics she doesn't want people to see, so all leg humpers and BCO's

need to come out to the next meet to experience the real deal *cough*

...Mike.. *cough cough*

------------------------The Cruise to OC------------------------
We leave Rockville in a group of roughly 10 Z's. Kieran@DrivenDynamics did the ricest thing

ever: He drove ALL the way down to OC just to drive ALL the way back, you can't get anymore

rice than that. The LS chick also drove down with us halfway and did a great job of holding

her own through all our insane weaving and "blind attacks."

Arrival in OC... *drum roll* the adventure begins:

In the mix-up of events, no great adventure ever starts off bland: let's throw some

negligent driving, drifting, and driving while a ricer into the equation!

We start off with... Getting Pulled the F' Over by OC Cops!

The Story:
We had finished a fat-free meal @ Burger King and decided to "rice it out" on a U-Turn. For

those whom are not informed of what, "ricing it out" in a turn is:

[In the turning lane]
1. Signal (Left/Right)
2. Bust a "U" and drift the crap out of your car going as sideways as possible for the

longest duration as possible leaving the most smoke, noise, and tire marks as possible.

(Once drift has been accomplished and car has been straightened out

3. Floor the crap out of ur car redlining every gear to create the most noise and attention

as possible (even from police.) Courtesy of Bigslim.
4. All while lookin frikkin COOL while doin' it.
5. *BONUS* if you are the ultimate ricer, you would do ALL this with your headlights OFF.

I was in the turn lane upfront of the pack (I rode in Bigslim's car that night) and everyone

had been accomplishing the ricey U-Turns. Bigslim U-Turns and was about to proceed to [Step

3] when I look over to my left... a COP! Apparently a cop saw us do our ricer moves and

decided to magically appear right behind Mondi in the turn lane. Kieran@DrivenDynamics had

forgotten to turn on his headlights and was driving with them OFF while busting a U. Mondi

noticed his headlights were off and frantically high-beamed him to inform him all while NOT

noticing a cop had just appeared behind him.

I turn to Bigslim and yell out, "HOLY CHIT! STOP STOP STOP!! There's a FRIKKIN COP RIGHT

THERE!!!" We limp our way through the gears and try to keep the noise pollution down to a

minimal.... but the rest of the group had no idea this cop was behind them....

After Mondi's failed attempt at informing Kieran that his headlights were off, he decides to

have a little fun and busts a drift while U-Turning. I look behind me.... *Slap Forehead*

"oh shoot.... that cop is following us..."

Next thing ya know, the Christmas Lights go on and he's after us!

Cop pulls Kieran and Mondi over for driving like Ricers, and of course, backup arrives. The

rest of the group pulls over a few streets down away from police. We see them at a distance

pulled over and Juan shouts out: "hey Anh, go unFunctionTUNE them!!!" And that's what I did:

I walk back to the scene nonchalantly pretending I don't know these ricers all while

secretly pulling out my phone and snapping pics of them getting unFunctionTUNED:









Kieran@DrivenDynamics + Mondi: unFunctionTUNED

After the cops were done with them, we stopped by a gas station to hear about their

butt-raping:

Kieran gets charged for driving while a ricer, aka "with no headlights on." Mondi however,

gets charged for a lot more: Negligent driving and busting a "30ft. drift" says the cops. I

have to quote the cop for this one because it was so dam ridiculous:

Cop (while having Mondi pulled over): "D--d-do you h--have any w-weapons of mass

destruction?" studdering like a **** thinking he has Osama Bin Laden pulled over or

something. I mean.. who the crap asks that kind of question?! And if he did, do they

honestly think the driver would ADMIT it?!? I heard of a porno called weapon of ***

destruction and that's probably a more probable cause for questioning but this cop seriously

thought Mondi had some kind of nuclear bomb in the trunk of a Z.

Pulled over within an HOUR of being there, now that's RICE! Hopefully we have more

luck tomorrow @ the car show

------------------------Funk Master Flex Car Show------------------------
We cruise in the, "Flying V" formation taking up all 3 lanes all while traveling 5-10 mph

below the speed limit ricer style. Photos courtesy of Kristen (zChick) hanging out of Juan's

car: (she will later regret doing this, more to come)








We arrive at the car show with more attention on us than the show itself since we were being

****'s about our parking:












Droppedit2wce: unFunction:TUNED missing bolts!





G35 guy below got unFunctionTUNED: (cracked rotors and

cracked lip!)






As with the aftermath of all car shows and especially crowds after a showing of The Fast

n Furious, one (or many) must "rice it out" (AGAIN!) on the way out of the convention

center and attraction all the attention possible... even from POLICE!

 

------------------------Aftermath of the Car Show------------------------




You see how I'm in the waaaay back? I call it strategic positioning in a rice pack because

the police were also strategically positioned to pull us over when we got back on Coast

Highway. Here is the last photo before everyone got yoinked:


We were making a right turn back onto Coastal Highway and (as expected!) everyone was pumped

and flipped on their "ricer mode" switch and proceeded to "bust a right turn driiiiftttooo"

back onto the road. *Drift Initiated* next step - *FLOOR IT to REDLINE!!!* next step - ....

oh holddup, we need a change in plans... *MASH THE FRIGGIN BRAKES* cuz a motha frikkin cop

was sitting there waiting for us as he flipped on his Christmas Lights!

He gets behind Shocka and unFunctionTUNES him:



I drive by slowly and snap a pic on my phone thinkin this would make a great story:



Juan (leading the group) pulls into a dead-end road on the right in order to wait for

Shocka. Me, a Mustang, and Droppedit2wce were the last people to park.. but there weren't

anymore parking spots and somehow I had a hunch that that cop would pull into this lot and

ticket everyone. I made a u-turn and signaled everyone else that didn't have a parking spot

to do the same. I knew for a fact that the cop saw the whole group pull in so he would

naturally want to give someone something or call for backup. I buckled up and expected the

worse case scenario, getting blocked in and everyone getting tickets: Well just my luck,

guess what happened NEXT?!?!

You see some cop fly in and blocked off the group. C5_Vette (Zain) tries to escape and the

cop goes, "Get back in there!" as he pulls back into his illegal (fire lane) parking spot.

We were officially @#$%'d




The mustang was infront of me, I was in the middle, and Dropped was behind me. I sure in

hell wasn't going to get another ticket so I waited for the cop to turn his back toward the

group to initiate the master plan:

The mustang had it easy since he didn't drive anything that looked like a 350z, but the cop

still stared at him as if he was guilty for doing something. Mustang guy pretended to look

over at the guilty party on the left and pretended to mind his own business. His loud ***

muscle car noise didn't help him whatsoever so he was suspected to be part of our rice pack.

I leave a good distance away from the Mustang as he starts pulling out back onto Coastal

Highway

all while pretend I'm staying behind with the group of pulled over Z's... at the last

minute... I rhomp on the gas and FLEE THE MOTHA FRIKKIN SCENE as fast as a motha truucka

when the cop's back was turned.

The cop immediately radios in for backup and yells, "There's a black mustang, an orange Z,

and a black Z on Coastal Highway!"

Next thing you know, 2 cop cars some ZOOMING after us pedal to the metal! Too bad we were so

far ahead and totally outsmarted them with our tactical escape plan. I figured we would get

radioed in... so in any police procedure, they will:

1. identify the cars
2. indicate the area they were in + direction of travel
3. call more police within that area + that direction to lookout for us coming their way.

Any idiot criminal would floor it down one way and try to escape his/her chasers, smarter

ones do the opposite and head TOWARD their chasers to throw them off even MORE. With that in

mind, we went down a few streets and busted a U-Turn heading back toward the scene of the

crime but in the opposite direction of what they radioed in. Obviously cops wouldn't be

looking for us on this side so we were somewhat safe. I lost Droppedit2wce because he went

and hid somewhere else but the Mustang and I pulled into a crowded parking lot of a super

market and parked our cars in the waaaay back.

Just in-case they so magically found us, we went into the store and bought water bottles to

indicate we had business + every right to be parked here. My heart was pumped, adrenline

rushing to my brain and I immediately had to call my gf to tell her what happened:

(after telling her the story)
GF: "OMG... you are SUCH a RICER... you're HIDING right now? HAHAHAHA!!!"
I got called a ricer by my gf, that made my day (getting called ricer > sex)

That afternoon... they never found us, we got away.... Ricer Style

However back on the guilty side of town:

Juan: "Is there a problem officer?"
Officer: "Yes there definitely IS a problem, license and registration!!!"

A few exchanges from the rice pack and the police:
Cop: "You and your sorry *** cars!"
Cop: "I hate the dam car show!"

Bigslim: *thinking* "sorry *** cars?!? holddup... what do YOU drive.. ah that's right.. a

squad car that MY tax money paid for."







Juan is seen below JUMPING FOR JOY!!! I have never seen someone get so excited

about getting pulled over before!





Juan and the cop duke it out!



Cop: "Everyone here can get charged with 12 points on their license and $1000 dollar fines!!

You guys were in a speed contest!"
Juan: "How exactly are we in the speed contest... when we weren't even speeding?!?! We were

going 30 mph!"

Everyone was out of their cars, taking pictures, and hanging out so the cops could not

charge anyone with anything since they did not pinpoint who drove what car... it really

helps that all the cars look the same too!

However, the cop charged Juan with "negligent driving" because his passenger (Kristen) was

"hanging a foreign object outside the window" aka, the camera. How BS is THAT! At least they

look real happy with the tickets:

Juan + Kristen: unFunction:TUNED:


Back to the hotel and into Delaware where MD cops can't follow!

 

------------------------Back @ The Hotel------------------------
I proceed to go back to the hotel... I was in the U-Turn lane and spot some douche bag 4x4

infront of me. Traffic was backed to hell but there was enough space for him to make the

U-Turn... and U-Turn he did... right into a guy on a scooter and totally creamed him.

This photo was taken after the 4x4 backed up so I could get a clear shot:

A few minutes later, fire trucks, ambulance, police:

Idiots really need to watch out where they're going, the dude had to get carted back in a

stretcher.

We all make it back to the hotel in one piece:


Discussions ensue for plans later that night: Seacrets

------------------------Seacrets (The bar/club)------------------------

We decided to hop on the drunk bus to Seacrets, and unfortunately some of us were way too

tired to stay awake therefore they need to be unFunctionTUNED:


C5_Vette's excuse would soon be to "conserve his energy" for later on that night. Things

start to get a lil wild.

We arrive at Seacrets: I scope the area for any hot babes but the hottest one was a 6

. Please rename this place to "BEAT LAND" (come if ugly) I wanted to leave

immediately but shoot... we paid 10 bucks to get in and being a cheap Asian that I am, we

absolutely had to stay and make the most of our money. I saw a grandma there... no really...

she was someone's grandmother. Looked like she was pushin 60+ with a full head of white

hair. What has the world come to?!?! No trickery tonight since the "targets" weren't even

worth our time. I would lower myself to leg hump status with a Demonstration of No Taste

Value if I ever got caught talking to one of these beat *** chicks. F' That, the story ends

right here with the club!

None of us went home with any chicks, and thank gawd we didn't! However, while crossing the

street to the bus stop, we look back and see C5_Vette and Droppedit2wce talking it up with

some chick. "Zain and his Under Cover Game!" yells the group! "WOoOhOO!" Crossing our

fingers, we hoped one of us would land something tonight, but for Zain, extending his

fingers into "uncharted territory" is what he did that night with a random chick he picked

up on the board walk @ 5am in the morning.

The two boys were off on an adventure on their own, they booked a ride in a van with random

people and Zain picked up some 23 yr. old chick where he made out with, rolled around in the

sand, and played "stinky pinky."

During Zain's PDA with that girl on the beach, people were watching the action unfold on

their balconies, taking out their binoculars and digital cameras to grasp hold of the free

live show.

The rest of the guys were at the hotel fast asleep, not knowing what was going on and

wondering if Zain will ever make it back that night. My phone went off @ 9:30 a.m.... I

looked over to the right, no Zain... I looked over to the left... No Zain... hMmMm....

Everyone slowly woke up and Bigslim said, "Dam I wonder what happened to Zain and those

chicks?! Did he score..?!"

Umzzz: "blah blah blah.. ZAIN blah blah"
DaveFunction2nd: "blah blah Zain wha? blah blah... where's he?"

Suddenly, we hear a faint voice from below the beds in a tired sleepy voice saying something

along the lines of "...shut uuuppp!"

He had somehow managed to ninja his way into the locked room without waking any of us up.

Stealth Ninja entrance, Ninja playa status. We gave him mad props.

"HOLY CRAP!! Where the hell did you come from?!?!"
"Did you bang that chick?!"

Zain: "No I didnt!"

"Why NOT!?!?"

*Drum Roll.....*

Zain: ".....Found out she was a mother of 3!"

BAGGAGE FTL!!!

------------------------Cruise Back Home------------------------

We pack up our things, check out, and had a little photoshoot infront of the hotel:
























Mondi unFunction:TUNED:



On the way back, Bigslim's O2 sensor FTB:



On-Site repairs by FunctionTUNED!





Bigslim gets unFunctionTUNED:



The cruise back home consisted of many sprints above the legal limit, lots of honking from

random cars, and surprisingly no police! Let's hope it stays that way until Chap 4.!!!

 

Blind Attack Driftttttooooo!

 

haha I hate you ricers and your "sorry *** cars"

 

hahaha, its still funny reading everything that went down

ahn, can you email me the other pics you took this weekend

oh and to let it be known, I received no tickets courtesy of Juan arguing with the cops. cops were so pissed at Juan arguing with them, they completely forgot that they had pulled me over. Thanks Juan, I owe ya one.

 

Whered that quote in your sig come from ?

 

LOLOLOL! sounds like a damn good time.. really wish I could have made it

I read you loud and clear Ahn.. next meet that LS chick is there.. I am there

 

Cop (while having Mondi pulled over): "D--d-do you h--have any w-weapons of mass

destruction?"

HAHAHAHAHA! I can't stop laughing!

 

that would be a quote from Dave unFunction:Tuning himself via a text message that we intercepted rice style...........

 

oh man...no jack stands FTL

 

stay tuned for ahn getting unfunction tuned too i love how you didnt even throw that in there...ill post when i get home later

 

yea please do,

also mondi there is a pic on your camera of the Rice King passed out after talking on the phone with his girlfriend in the hotel room for 2 hours , while the rest of us were hanging out with a few beers right next to him!

 

dude i officially recind your undercover phone license and award it to ahn

 

Whaaa...?! you guys took a picture?! hahahaha I wanna see this!

 

On the way back, Bigslim's O2 sensor FTB:

Bigslim gets unFunctionTUNED:



AAM test pipes FTL!!!!!
Anh, you left out the fact that the wires crossed in the O2 sensor wire and possibly fried my ECU / UTEC.

 

Damn bro sucks!!!

 

The missing bolts were a performance MOD... the car is now lighter and Lighter = Faster...

Sly, looks like you met your match...

 

Nice story. I must join one of these adventures sooner or later....

 

ahahaha great read !! I still don't get WTF the cops were being so **** bout.
I wouldn't take **** from them especially sinec no one was speeding and you are all essentially witness's I can only imagine the BS they would have given someone with a stock Z or near stock appearence ...........what a Croc! lol