Notices
Mid-Atlantic Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia, Washington D.C.

"If you don't have something nice to say, dont' say it" (An American Thing)

Thread Tools
 
Search this Thread
 
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 05:01 AM
  #1  
bb1314's Avatar
bb1314
Thread Starter
da Terminator!
iTrader: (62)
 
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 9,294
Likes: 1
From: Rockville, MD
Default "If you don't have something nice to say, dont' say it" (An American Thing)

So lately I've been thinking through about most of the forum/facebook arguments and how they all started. I realized 99% of them started something along the line of one person posting pictures of something (ex: A new mod to his car). Then another person comes in and posts his honest and constructive criticism. The original poster feels attacked/offended and taking it personal and causes an argument.

This whole ego thing is quite interesting and I think about what a lot of you guys always say "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it". To me I have always been 100% honest to people that I consider friends and family. I feel like that is the way to truly communicate otherwise we're nothing but acquaintances that can't even speak the truth to each other. Born and raised in an Asian culture until I was 14, we grow up being criticized/compared 24/7 and somehow it helped a lot of us to always try to remain competitive in the society. People wonder "Oh why are Asian people so smart?". The truth is we were all born as stupid as monkeys. The way we were brought up makes us constantly try to make ourselves better. So whenever I hear about the whole concept of keeping one's negative opinions, it's like another form of hiding the truth and eventually hurting the person in a long run.

The other day some local photographer posted a picture he took with 3 girls in it. Hmmm... The picture looked really weird to me. All the girls looked stumpy/compressed. Like they have bigger tassels but tiny + short legs. I posted a comment on facebook and asked if he was shooting from an angle looking down at the models. The guy simply deleted my comment!!! I put it out there 100% in a professional criticism manner. So I'm thinking... how's this photographer ever going to improve if he doesn't take any criticism? Maybe that's why his work continues to suck?

So what's your take on this? If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it? Is it an American thing?
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 05:09 AM
  #2  
michaeljr6's Avatar
michaeljr6
New Member
iTrader: (14)
 
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 10,459
Likes: 0
From: small home.
Default

the truth......some people can't handle it.
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 05:17 AM
  #3  
JCat's Avatar
JCat
---------------
Premier Member
20 Year Member
Liked
Loved
Community Favorite
iTrader: (4)
 
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,996
Likes: 76
From: JC in Atlanta Georgia
Default

The older I get the more I realize that how you say it can be just as important as what you are saying.
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 05:23 AM
  #4  
Jgrizzle's Avatar
Jgrizzle
Registered User
iTrader: (7)
 
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,797
Likes: 0
From: Hamsterdam, Baltimore
Default

Originally Posted by JCat
The older I get the more I realize that how you say it can be just as important as what you are saying.
I think thats more the issue than anything else. I dont think its an american thing.

The problem is how douche bags and nuthuggers comment on things. You can instantly get infuriated.....

The other side is, you take a risk when you ask for feedback, or post something that will generate feedback. So, if you can take the heat get out of the kitchen
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 05:52 AM
  #5  
WYZIWYG's Avatar
WYZIWYG
New Member
20 Year Member
Liked
Loved
Community Favorite
 
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 8,736
Likes: 208
From: BEHIND YOU!! BEHIND YOU!!!
Default

Only further evidence of the 'Pussification of America'. Putting your work/thoughts/etc out in a public forum and not expecting scrutiny, disagreement or debate is ludicrous. If this dude can't take criticism, he should pack up his equipment, sell it and buy a lifetime supply of Prozac.
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 06:39 AM
  #6  
ZS14RR's Avatar
ZS14RR
Registered User
iTrader: (30)
 
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 8,235
Likes: 5
From: 15 mins from white house
Default

But....but.....this is the interwebs..
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 07:41 AM
  #7  
Chen's Avatar
Chen
Registered User
 
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 2,216
Likes: 0
From: Bowie Maryland
Default

Maybe he wants to KICK YOUR AZN Ass
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 07:49 AM
  #8  
BornSlippyZ's Avatar
BornSlippyZ
Registered User
iTrader: (1)
 
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,418
Likes: 2
From: Minnesota!
Default

Originally Posted by JCat
The older I get the more I realize that how you say it can be just as important as what you are saying.
+1K!
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 10:14 AM
  #9  
Barnabas's Avatar
Barnabas
National Z Club President
iTrader: (15)
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,950
Likes: 2
From: the coolest place on earth
Default

I agree on people not being able to handle the truth!!


Im a straight shooter and if you dont like how I act/talk then get over yourself Im just being honest
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 10:29 AM
  #10  
bb1314's Avatar
bb1314
Thread Starter
da Terminator!
iTrader: (62)
 
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 9,294
Likes: 1
From: Rockville, MD
Default

So if a good friend of yours (a girl) who's obviously overweight, would you tell her honestly?
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 10:34 AM
  #11  
Chen's Avatar
Chen
Registered User
 
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 2,216
Likes: 0
From: Bowie Maryland
Default

Originally Posted by bb1314
So if a good friend of yours (a girl) who's obviously overweight, would you tell her honestly?
If her life depended on it, then yes. Otherwise just keep it to yourself i suppose. If she knows that she is overweight and does not deny it then i don't see a reason to tell her.
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 10:42 AM
  #12  
abui01's Avatar
abui01
New Member
iTrader: (68)
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,120
Likes: 1
From: McDonalds - NOVA - DC/MD/VA
Default

Originally Posted by bb1314
So if a good friend of yours (a girl) who's obviously overweight, would you tell her honestly?
I believe the bathroom mirror does a fine job at it every morning.

Now if you look like you ate a cow and have absolutely no plans to do anything about it, then it's the right time to speak up.
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 11:10 AM
  #13  
Barnabas's Avatar
Barnabas
National Z Club President
iTrader: (15)
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,950
Likes: 2
From: the coolest place on earth
Default

Originally Posted by bb1314
So if a good friend of yours (a girl) who's obviously overweight, would you tell her honestly?
not just walk up to her and be like your fat but if she asked me then yes I would be honest, if it was a health issue then yes I would say something she wouldnt have to bring it up...
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 02:54 PM
  #14  
Joy_ride's Avatar
Joy_ride
Registered User
iTrader: (3)
 
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,107
Likes: 0
From: Severn, MD
Default

Originally Posted by JCat
The older I get the more I realize that how you say it can be just as important as what you are saying.
Truth. But it depends on a number of reasons, like how or where you were raised. Remember that day we got noodles ethan? and how i couldnt believe how rude you were!? but you swear its an azn thing....................
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 02:56 PM
  #15  
langtubip's Avatar
langtubip
not fast enuff
iTrader: (18)
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 579
Likes: 0
From: NOVA \\ Falls Church
Default

too much free time, don't know what to do with it.
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 04:47 PM
  #16  
bb1314's Avatar
bb1314
Thread Starter
da Terminator!
iTrader: (62)
 
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 9,294
Likes: 1
From: Rockville, MD
Default

Originally Posted by langtubip
too much free time, don't know what to do with it.
Toi aussi my Viet hustler brother.
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 04:53 PM
  #17  
PhiSig's Avatar
PhiSig
Wheel Whore
iTrader: (36)
 
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,575
Likes: 1
From: Northern VA
Default

I think everyone should try to be tactful with their comments. I think feedback is great when it is asked for, bashing or just random pissing contests, not so much.
Reply
Old Nov 23, 2009 | 07:26 PM
  #18  
paposalsa's Avatar
paposalsa
Banned
iTrader: (5)
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 919
Likes: 1
From: Not in Sunny, FL
Default

Originally Posted by michaeljr6
the truth......some people can't handle it.
Col. Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I think I'm entitled.
Col. Jessep: *You want answers?*
Kaffee: *I want the truth!*
Col. Jessep: You can’t handle the truth!


Last edited by paposalsa; Nov 23, 2009 at 07:32 PM.
Reply
Old Nov 24, 2009 | 11:33 AM
  #19  
Dj Xyanyde's Avatar
Dj Xyanyde
Registered User
iTrader: (2)
 
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 474
Likes: 0
From: Woodbridge, VA
Default

Originally Posted by bb1314
So if a good friend of yours (a girl) who's obviously overweight, would you tell her honestly?
If I had a good friend of mine that became obviously overweight... she would no longer be a good friend of mine.

Its nothing personal, its just bad for the suspension.



No, Im playing. If she called up and wanted to go to the bar, I would just take her to a Salad Bar.
Reply
Old Nov 24, 2009 | 11:34 AM
  #20  
Joy_ride's Avatar
Joy_ride
Registered User
iTrader: (3)
 
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,107
Likes: 0
From: Severn, MD
Default

Originally Posted by Dj Xyanyde
If I had a good friend of mine that became obviously overweight... she would no longer be a good friend of mine.

Its nothing personal, its just bad for the suspension.



No, Im playing. If she called up and wanted to go to the bar, I would just take her to a Salad Bar.
would you still lub me if i got fat
Reply



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:15 AM.