I posted this here instead of off topic because there are too many nut jobs in there, so thought hopefully the local Bay Area, people will be nicer!

Moderators please don't move to off topic. Both people do live in the Bay Area, so it is sorta in the right spot.

If there are any crude remarks I will have this thread deleted by moderators.

I met this woman at work 7 years ago and we worked together for about a year, then she got laid off. We were friends at work but never hung out together outside of work. Then when she got laid off we lost touch for a couple years. After that 2 years we started talking again on the phone and enventually hanging out togther as friends for 2.5 years. We were always friends for that 2.5 years and that was all. I knew a few months after I first met her (7 years ago) I had feelings for her. Our communication wasn't very good and I was always afraid to tell her how I feel because I didn't want to mess up our friendship.

So November of 2007 since I was still afraid to tell her how I felt about her I decided to end the friendship instead which was a mistake. I e-mailed her and I told her I would always consider her and friend from a distance but couldn't hang out with her or talk to her anymore because of how I felt about her. Also told her I would help her if she ever needed anything. I had one chance just before Christmas of 2006 to tell her how I felt (was the right moment) but didn't and kick myself eveyday since. She also had feelings but never said anything as well. I was and am still much in love with her and always will care about her no matter where our own lives went. She had feelings for me as well but we were both afraid to tell each other and we never talked about it in person. Whole thing was due to bad comunication.

Last week her best friend who I met on Classmates started IM'ing me and she is trying to get us together. I loved this woman so much I wanted to marry her someday. Her best friend tells me that she still has feelings for me after a year and a half of not talking to her our seeing her in person but just by keeping in touch by occasional texts and e-mails. I didn't realise she still had any feelings after all this time, so I kind of emotionally let go of her 1.5 years ago. But on the other hand I do still love her and miss her to this day.

She is a great woman and her family is really nice as well.

Our friendship over the 7 years was kind of a roller coaster ride due mostly because I liked her so much and was afraid to tell her, so at times I gave up on our friendship a couple times, then I finally gave up for good (so I thought, not sure yet/confused) a year and a half ago.

God I sound like a kid in High School.

I'm not going to ask anybody in here what i should do, it's something I need to figure out on my own but has anybody else gone thru something similar and if so what did YOU do?

I have nothing but resepct for this person, and her best friend, so if anybody is rude, mean or crude I will have this deleted. You guys can call me whatever you want I don't care about that.

 

Just pull the trigger, it's set in your mind already, and the only way for you to move on is to either get with her or find someone else you're more interested in... which in your case might be hard to do after a 7 year friendship.

Seems like you're asking a question that you already know the answer to. Stop wasting time on the interwebz of sausages and call her already, or text her if you're scared. I assume you have her number, or can get it from her friend easily.

PS... as Russel Peters would say: "Be a man, do the right thing!"

 

Agree^^^^^, just gather some guts and call her. Before you call her, make sure you think of things to talk about because you don't want to ask her, "Hi", and then have nothing else to say. Also, don't let your emotion take over. Be calm about it when you talk to her. Make sure when you talk to her, be smooth, and eventually transition to asking her out. I know its hard bro, but you know exactly what needs to be done. Now pick up the phone and call her..............And please keep us updated....

 

Dude, I hate love posts in a car forum but since I have been through something similar I will chime in.

I grew up with a girl that I just cant shake off my mind. I cant recall how old we were when she moved next door, but it was before pre-school (might help explain why I cant remember). When we were 8-10 (cant remember exactly when) we made a blood pact (pricked our thumbs and rubbed them together) that if we weren't married by the time we were 30, we would marry each other (Kids ). All my life my feelings for her have been a roller-coaster ride. We have always remained friends and have never gone past that stage.

A couple of years ago we were reminiscing about our childhood and she brought up the "Pact". We went from talking about the silly games we played to what I assumed was going to be a life changing experience... We confessed to each other how we felt about one another. The problem is her feelings for me in a "more than friends" was gone and I couldn't bring myself to telling her how I felt at that point. From that point on it made things aquard for me and sad to say, I avoid her now... Sucks because her Mom & Dad love me like a son and my family has always loved her in the same way.

Now Im in a relationship and so is she

Make your move before its too late...

 

If you know you have feelings for her and you know (through her friend) she still has feelings for you, this really isn't that hard of a decision is it? If you never tell her how you feel you'll always have to sit back and wonder what could have been. IMO that would eat away at my conscience and lot more than telling her and then being rejected or ruining the friendship.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck!

 

I agree with the rest of the guys here. You have another opportunity to work things out and you should take it. if you dont you would probably feel guilt and will always regret your decion as you did before on that last christmas you spoke about.

Just do it bro. im sure your not the only one here who has gone thru something like this so hope this helps. best of luck

 

do it man, you got one life to live so if there's grass on the field... play ball it's time to stop dreaming and start doing (i know i am dammit)

 

If there's too much grass on the field, tell her to mow the lawn though.

 

^

 

^+1

 

 

same as what cali said, "make your move before it's too late."

 

^^^TROOF i rather have that clear landing strip than crashing into the jungle