Pembroke Pines/Miramar/Hollywood Z Meet
#7745
Registered User
iTrader: (7)
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Posts: 1,514
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Dad had mom bent over at the edge of the bed and is pounding it hard, doggie style. Junior walks in and sees this. Dad, without stopping, looks back at Junior, smiles and gives a wink. Junior closes the door and walk away.
When dad shot his load, he goes looking for Junior. Dad hears noises coming from Junior's room so he investigates. Dad found Junior pounding Grandma, doggie style. Dad screams, "Junior! Stop that!" Junior looks at dad and says, "It's not so funny when its YOUR mom, is it?"
When dad shot his load, he goes looking for Junior. Dad hears noises coming from Junior's room so he investigates. Dad found Junior pounding Grandma, doggie style. Dad screams, "Junior! Stop that!" Junior looks at dad and says, "It's not so funny when its YOUR mom, is it?"
#7746
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 765
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Thank you! Yes... I have lots of ideas but it's just coming up with the cash! (I don't have any credit cards)... I'd like to get a new front bumper, and for my rear, either get my Greddy lip filled in (i have single exhaust) or get a custom made rear bumper with only 1 hole for the exhaust. I also need to get my wheels refinished. As far as performance... Anything to make it go faster! lol
#7747
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 765
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Dad had mom bent over at the edge of the bed and is pounding it hard, doggie style. Junior walks in and sees this. Dad, without stopping, looks back at Junior, smiles and gives a wink. Junior closes the door and walk away.
When dad shot his load, he goes looking for Junior. Dad hears noises coming from Junior's room so he investigates. Dad found Junior pounding Grandma, doggie style. Dad screams, "Junior! Stop that!" Junior looks at dad and says, "It's not so funny when its YOUR mom, is it?"
When dad shot his load, he goes looking for Junior. Dad hears noises coming from Junior's room so he investigates. Dad found Junior pounding Grandma, doggie style. Dad screams, "Junior! Stop that!" Junior looks at dad and says, "It's not so funny when its YOUR mom, is it?"
#7748
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Port St Lucie, FL
Posts: 433
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole whose selling point was that it was on top of the largest skyscraper in town. Another man walks in and asks the bartender for a Jack Daniel's. He downs it, and then takes a running leap out the window. Much to everybody's surprise, he floats back up and climbs through the window back into the bar. The man at the bar is amazed and asks the man how he did it.
"Easy," says the man. "Outside this window are some very strong wind currents which can carry you back to the window."
"Wow," says the man at the bar. "I gotta try this." He takes a running leap out the window and falls to a horrible, bloody, and flat death.
"Geez, Superman," says the bartender. "You can be a real a jerk when you're drunk."
"Easy," says the man. "Outside this window are some very strong wind currents which can carry you back to the window."
"Wow," says the man at the bar. "I gotta try this." He takes a running leap out the window and falls to a horrible, bloody, and flat death.
"Geez, Superman," says the bartender. "You can be a real a jerk when you're drunk."
#7749
Registered User
iTrader: (14)
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Miami
Posts: 2,974
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Thank you! Yes... I have lots of ideas but it's just coming up with the cash! (I don't have any credit cards)... I'd like to get a new front bumper, and for my rear, either get my Greddy lip filled in (i have single exhaust) or get a custom made rear bumper with only 1 hole for the exhaust. I also need to get my wheels refinished. As far as performance... Anything to make it go faster! lol
Is it manual or automatic?
#7750
Registered User
iTrader: (7)
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Posts: 1,514
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The director of the CIA is testing three new agents, ages 25, 35, and 45. He puts each of their wives in one of three rooms.
He hands the 25-year-old a revolver and says, "Go into the room and kill your wife."
The 25-year-old says, "I can't do it. I love her too much."
The director hands the gun to the 35-year-old and says, "Go into the room and kill your wife."
The 35-year-old goes into the room, comes out after five minutes, and says, "I can't do it."
The director hands the gun to the 45-year-old and says, "Go into the room and kill your wife."
The 45-year-old goes into the room. Three shots ring out, and then there's the sound of scuffling and fighting. The director runs into the room and sees the wife dead on the floor.
He says, "What happened?"
The 45-year-old says, "Some ******* put blanks in the gun, so I had to choke her to death."
He hands the 25-year-old a revolver and says, "Go into the room and kill your wife."
The 25-year-old says, "I can't do it. I love her too much."
The director hands the gun to the 35-year-old and says, "Go into the room and kill your wife."
The 35-year-old goes into the room, comes out after five minutes, and says, "I can't do it."
The director hands the gun to the 45-year-old and says, "Go into the room and kill your wife."
The 45-year-old goes into the room. Three shots ring out, and then there's the sound of scuffling and fighting. The director runs into the room and sees the wife dead on the floor.
He says, "What happened?"
The 45-year-old says, "Some ******* put blanks in the gun, so I had to choke her to death."
#7751
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Port St Lucie, FL
Posts: 433
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
One day, two drunks were stumbling around in the streets of New York, when they decided that they were beginning to get sober. They checked their pockets to see how much money they had on them. They were disappointed to only find $1.25.
Finally after a period of deep and intense thought, one of the men got an idea. He went to a hot dog stand, bought a hot dog, and went to a bar to begin drinking. They did shot after shot, until the bartender told the two that if they wanted any more drinks they better show him that they had some money to pay for them. The man with the hot dog opened his zipper and put the wiener through the opening. He had his friend get down and start sucking on it. The bartender cursed them and made them leave. They went to bar after bar with this routine until they were dog drunk. They staggered out into the streets, satisfied and wasted.
"Man," one of the drunks said, "I've got to admit, that hot dog trick worked great."
"Actually," the second drunk said, "I ate the hot dog at the second bar!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, “Where have you been?”
“I've been to the pub,” slurs the drunk.
“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you've had quite a few.”
“I did alright,” the drunk says with a smile.
“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”
“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.”
Finally after a period of deep and intense thought, one of the men got an idea. He went to a hot dog stand, bought a hot dog, and went to a bar to begin drinking. They did shot after shot, until the bartender told the two that if they wanted any more drinks they better show him that they had some money to pay for them. The man with the hot dog opened his zipper and put the wiener through the opening. He had his friend get down and start sucking on it. The bartender cursed them and made them leave. They went to bar after bar with this routine until they were dog drunk. They staggered out into the streets, satisfied and wasted.
"Man," one of the drunks said, "I've got to admit, that hot dog trick worked great."
"Actually," the second drunk said, "I ate the hot dog at the second bar!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, “Where have you been?”
“I've been to the pub,” slurs the drunk.
“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you've had quite a few.”
“I did alright,” the drunk says with a smile.
“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”
“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.”
Last edited by laracroft; 04-29-2009 at 10:13 AM.
#7752
Registered User
iTrader: (7)
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Posts: 1,514
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
There's 3 guys sitting around drinking and talking about how stupid their wives are. There's an Italian, an Irishman, and a polishman. The Italian guy says " My wife's so stupid, she bought 13 gallons of paint to paint the house......and we have a brick house." The Irishman says" That's nothing. My wife's so stupid, she dropped 3 grand on an electric stove........and we have gas." The polishman say " I got you all beat. My wife's so stupid I went rummaging through her purse and found a box of condoms.......she aint even got a d!ck."
#7753
Registered User
iTrader: (7)
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Posts: 1,514
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
A man arrives at his friends house and rings the doorbell. The wife answers the door and says "hey harry, james went to the hardware shop. He should be back soon, do you want to come in and wait?". So the man agrees and they both have a seat in the living room.
After a short while, harry says, "I'm sorry, but I always thought you had the nicest breasts. If you show me one I will give you $100." The wife thinks about it for a second and agrees, showing him one breast. The man says thank you and gives her a bill.
A short while after that, harry says, "I'm sorry, again, but your breast was sooo beautiful that I just need to see them both. If you show me both I will give you $200." The wife thinks about it, and then flashes him. The man says thank you and gives her $200.
Soon after, harry says he needs to go so he quickly gets up and leaves.
When james arrived from the hardware shop, he wife tells him "harry stopped by today." "Oh," says james, "did he leave the $300 that he owes me?"
After a short while, harry says, "I'm sorry, but I always thought you had the nicest breasts. If you show me one I will give you $100." The wife thinks about it for a second and agrees, showing him one breast. The man says thank you and gives her a bill.
A short while after that, harry says, "I'm sorry, again, but your breast was sooo beautiful that I just need to see them both. If you show me both I will give you $200." The wife thinks about it, and then flashes him. The man says thank you and gives her $200.
Soon after, harry says he needs to go so he quickly gets up and leaves.
When james arrived from the hardware shop, he wife tells him "harry stopped by today." "Oh," says james, "did he leave the $300 that he owes me?"
#7754
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 765
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Thanks! My car is manual... I have the Megan Racing Y-pipe with the JIC Magic Midpipe and muffler.
#7755
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Port St Lucie, FL
Posts: 433
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The U.S. Government decided to take an experiment to see what people say right before they get into an auto accident.
89% of the people in 49 states said: ''Oh, sh*!''
In Texas 94% said: ''Hold my beer. Watch this.''
------------------------------------------------------
Some of you probably already heard this one, but still funny.
A man is driving with wife, when he is pulled over by a policeman.
"Sir," says the cop. "You were going 60 in a 50."
"No, I wasn't."
"Yes, you were," says the wife.
"Keep quiet!" says the man, angrily.
"And you weren't wearing a seatbelt," says the cop.
"Yes I was."
"No, you weren't," says the wife.
"SHUT UP!" says the man, really angry.
"Ma'am," asks the cop, "is he always the rude and violent?"
"Only when he's DRUNK."
89% of the people in 49 states said: ''Oh, sh*!''
In Texas 94% said: ''Hold my beer. Watch this.''
------------------------------------------------------
Some of you probably already heard this one, but still funny.
A man is driving with wife, when he is pulled over by a policeman.
"Sir," says the cop. "You were going 60 in a 50."
"No, I wasn't."
"Yes, you were," says the wife.
"Keep quiet!" says the man, angrily.
"And you weren't wearing a seatbelt," says the cop.
"Yes I was."
"No, you weren't," says the wife.
"SHUT UP!" says the man, really angry.
"Ma'am," asks the cop, "is he always the rude and violent?"
"Only when he's DRUNK."
Last edited by laracroft; 04-29-2009 at 10:21 AM.
#7757
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 765
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
#7758
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 765
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
#7759
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Port St Lucie, FL
Posts: 433
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
#7760
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Port St Lucie, FL
Posts: 433
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Dirty pick up lines:
1) If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.
2) How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?
3) My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in.
4) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?
5) How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
1) If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.
2) How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?
3) My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in.
4) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?
5) How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.