Some people are real boneheads! I know I'm just overly concerned and paranoid about my car, but two examples over the past week just reinforce my desire to personally fund development of car-to-car tactical missle technology.

1) Go out to eat Chinese on Saturday. The restaurant's popular and the parking lot's small. I try to find an isolated parking spot but there are none. The best I find is a legitimate spot on the left of the dumpster. I park over to the right side of my space to put more distance between me and the car parked on my left. To the right there is what looks to me as about a half-car-width area between me and the fence around the dumpster.

We go in to eat, the Kung Pow is yummy, yada yada yada...

I walk out to get in my car, and see that some jerk-off parked their Civic on the right of my Z. It's squeezed in so close to my right side, I'm already preparing my reaction for when I see the ding in my door. The car is so close that my passenger can't get in until I back out. I don't look first -- I just start it up and back out. Then I look...

Hopefully I won't disappoint anyone after the big buildup, but miraculously I did not have a ding or scratch or anything except a 190 heartrate and visions of me running table to table through the Peking Garden asking, "Green Civic? Green Honda Civic?".

It wasn't a hatchback, so I don't even want to think about how this moron got out. Hopefully through the passenger door.

2) I have to make a left turn off the main street to get to my house. The light doesn't have a left arrow, so you have to yield to oncoming traffic. After the intersection the road expands to two lanes; before the intersection there's one lane with parked cars along the curb. When you stop and wait for this light to turn green, people always try to come up on your right side, between you and the parked cars, if your left blinker is on. This always makes me nervous that someone's gonna take off my right mirror or scrape my right side.

So today I was the first car waiting for the light. I purposely stopped in the center of the road so that no cars could poke their noses through on my right side until the light changed and I moved out into the intersection. I was happily sitting there, ruminating at how unfortunate it is that not everyone can drive a Z, and suddenly goat-boy is squeezing his Ford Ranger through on my right side! He was a parked car when I stopped for the light, and now he's slowly pulling out of his parking space, front end pointed directly at my rear quarterpanel, inches away. I'm stuck: I can't move forward because the cross traffic from the right is turning left in front of me; I can't back up because Rosie O'Donnell behind me feels it's her civic duty to elminate the wasted space between her bumper and my *** at stoplights; and meanwhile goat-boy is probably rummaging around on the floor for his cell phone, pushing aside empty cans of Skoal while simultaneously guiding his Ranger through the eye of the needle between me and the Land Ute parked in front of him. Ahhhhhh!

Well, I didn't know it until then, but today was my lucky day because no damage was done. It's precisely this situation where I think a really loud air horn is called for. Or side-launched car-to-car missles.

OK, I'm done whining.

 

<b>and suddenly goat-boy is squeezing his Ford Ranger through on my right side! He was a parked car when I stopped for the light, and now he's slowly pulling out of his parking space, front end pointed directly at my rear quarterpanel, inches away. I'm stuck: I can't move forward because the cross traffic from the right is turning left in front of me; I can't back up because Rosie O'Donnell behind me feels it's her civic duty to elminate the wasted space between her bumper and my *** at stoplights; and meanwhile goat-boy is probably rummaging around on the floor for his cell phone, pushing aside empty cans of Skoal while simultaneously guiding his Ranger through the eye of the needle between me and the Land Ute parked in front of him</b>


LOL!!!!! Very well written....very funny. Thanks.

 

you should move to the better side of the river . no city driving, no parking garages, and parking lots that are hardly ever crowded.

 

LOL, I love stories. Great one! I enjoyed it. Thanks

 

Oh, I would luv to have some counter-measures available for stupid drivers.

One thought I had was to be able to shoot a paint ball at a driver who was doing something stupid. If that car accumulated 5 paint stains, 1 finger would be removed (err...or maybe something less severe like a point on his/her driver's record).

I like the air horn idea, but I think it should be supersized. Maybe an AirChime K5LA horn that is used on some freight trains....or a Makrofon Air Whistle that is used on Cruise ships. Either one would be schweeeeeet for getting the attention of the aberrant driver.

 

That was a great story, brackethead.... what caught my eye was your statement...

.....reinforce my desire to personally fund development of car-to-car tactical missle technology.

With some of the examples given here... I am reminded of an old story from my friend... who was really tired of a-holes not turning down their high-beams for oncoming traffic....

So he intalled a special set of airplane landing lights on his car with a special battery setup ... in order flash some of these idiots on the road....

 

sorry, but if you were the guy in the sports car taking up a space and a half in the parking lot, and blocking the center of the road so no one can squeeze by...Id call YOU the other driver.

If there was enough space for a civic to get in on your right and you parked to the right and the Z is WIDE, that means you overlooked the possibility that there were two legitimate compact car spaces. In light of the parking situation, I would have assumed that someone would squeeze in if it was remotely possible to do so. If I was the driver of the civic, I would be on myvtec.com ranting about how sports car drivers are rude.

The next story is how you purposely moved to the center of the lane thereby attempting to undermine another adults assessment of his/her ability to drive past you. The ranger is justified in attempting to scare you as a retaliation for making his driving difficult. Once again, the very fact that the ranger could squeeze by even though you moved over, makes it evident that there would have been plenty of space for anyone to get by, had you been considerate enough to pull to the left.

If you are inconsiderate first, while driving a fancy sports car, then expect jealousy, rage and passive aggressive retaliation to all come into play.

Sorry to bring negativity in light of such a well written short story, but I am.... the devils advocate (cue the scary music)

 

I have to agree with rpgonzalez...

While I agree with the sentiment of trying to protect your new ride, it would seem the degree to which you went instigated the other drivers reactions... leave enough room for a small car between you and a dumpster and a small car invariably will pull in with the driver cussing the entire time he is parking about the inconsiderate slob who is taking up two spaces.

Here's a similar scenario... I have my new Z (okay, this is definitely imaginary at the moment ) and pull into a crowded mall. Because I don't want to risk a parking lot mishap, I elect to park away from the mall where the lot is relatively empty. I have two options... park far away in a single spot or park far away crossing two or more spots (actually saw a large new pickup taking 6 spots once!). What I choose will largely determine the reaction of others... particularly those envious because they don't have a sweet new ride themselves. If I take up more than one spot, I am convinced the odds of having my car keyed or something equally malicious are easily doubled or tripled.

Just be aware that everyone shares that road, parking lot, etc. Overdoing the preventative parking an so forth, often makes you appear to be an elitist and thus, worthy of negative treatment in the eyes of others...

 

While I completely inderstand you want to care for and protect your new car, as I would too, I have to agree with Mcduck & gonzalez. You have to remember that others probably think you're the idiot on the road. While I can't possible fathom the idea of anyone thinking I don't know what I'm doing, I'm sure someone is. So, even when I have a ride I want to keep in a plastic bubble to protect from the dirty air, I try to remind myself that I'm not the only one on the road and be mindful of everything around me.

Now, there are occasions where you are 100% correct in assuming the other person is a complete and total idiot! Especially if this Honda Civic you refer to in fact parked in a spot that was actually not one. I've seen several of these compact cars park in those slots that have the yellow stripes across them, claerly indicating to find a different place to park! I don't like those people.

 

This is exactly why I refuse to drive my baby to any place where the potential for bad parking will exist. I'll use my beater for that.

I've got a theory: you're in a crowded lot, and decide to "walk" it, by parking far away from others. Your spot is surrounded by 50 other open spots, and you think to yourself, "great...all set". When you're done w/ your shopping/eating/etc, you'll return to your car, and there WILL be someone parked right next to you. 50 open spaces all around your car, and some *** decides to park in the spot next to yours. (you park regularly too- no diagonal or double parking; which might otherwise give some jackass the incentive to park next to you)

 

I think even parking far away invites peoples demented desire to mess with you and park right next to you even though there are 50 millin open spots. Do not underestimate how willing people are to do little passive aggressive things because the "rich guy with the nice car is an ***" even though Im really a cool school teacher with a really nice car that cost less than a jeep grand cherokee

 

Just remember brackethead, YOU are the OTHER driver to everyone else!

 

I know, I know, you guys are absolutely right! I just needed to vent.

For the record, I never take up more than one space (and didn't in the instance above). That's just inviting tragedy.

It's all good.

 

The Z was designed to be driven, not parked.... only in the garage.