Critical question for all married modders
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From: Nashville, TN area
Contacted Doug yesterday and got on the plenum wait list (estimated time 3-4 wks), and am shopping for the cheapest price on a Borla dual exhaust, inc. shipping.
The wife also went by Crawford and met Doug yesterday, and she paid our dues to the Mid-TN Z club. She's also been looking at rims, and if she gets a set, maybe daddy can, too.
The wife also went by Crawford and met Doug yesterday, and she paid our dues to the Mid-TN Z club. She's also been looking at rims, and if she gets a set, maybe daddy can, too.
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From: Nashville, TN area
Originally posted by Road Warrior
man i can't believe how whooped you guys are....just put the pants on and scrap the g-string....out
man i can't believe how whooped you guys are....just put the pants on and scrap the g-string....out
As hard as it may be for some guys to believe, some of us CHOOSE to be with strong women who are equal partners in the marriage; who can carry on an intelligent conversation about politics, religion, current events, and in my wife's case, cars and football; who are companions and friends, not servants; who actually have opinions and express them; and who are independently $uce$$ful in their own right (so they not only contribute enough to the marriage to support themselves but can also afford to buy YOU something nice every now and then). And as big of a shock as it might be to some folks, not every strong woman wants to emasculate her man or marry a wussie.
Yes, there are times the thought enters your head that it might be nice to have a woman who would just "obey," but it usually doesn't last very long. In my case, I have two Dobermans who are very obedient.
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From: Nashville, TN
Darthvol,
Being a 22 1/2 year veteran of the sport of marriage- WELL SAID!
It's being equals that make it work, and being friends and companions too.
My wife has been putting up with Z stuff since 1986 (when I surprised us BOTH and bought my Z while on the way to the bank to deposit a bonus check I had just received), and for the most part, is a real trooper, having attended various racing trips, car shows and get-togethers, the National Z Convention in '95, helping with club stuff, and has always "let" me go on such even if she can't or doesn't want to go.
I still like to joke that "everyday is another day off a life sentence".
Anyway, welcome to the Z community and the Middle Tennessee Z Club. We welcome you and your wife into the "family".
Being a 22 1/2 year veteran of the sport of marriage- WELL SAID!
It's being equals that make it work, and being friends and companions too.
My wife has been putting up with Z stuff since 1986 (when I surprised us BOTH and bought my Z while on the way to the bank to deposit a bonus check I had just received), and for the most part, is a real trooper, having attended various racing trips, car shows and get-togethers, the National Z Convention in '95, helping with club stuff, and has always "let" me go on such even if she can't or doesn't want to go.
I still like to joke that "everyday is another day off a life sentence".
Anyway, welcome to the Z community and the Middle Tennessee Z Club. We welcome you and your wife into the "family".
Wow, this is a funny thread. My wife bought me the Z while I was still in med school, then she bought me the borla exhaust and then, for graduation, she bought me the Vortech supercharger.
Although, the Vortech did cost me a new bedroom set, and the Z for me cost me a Murano for her.........Wait a minute......maybe I don't have it so good!!
Although, the Vortech did cost me a new bedroom set, and the Z for me cost me a Murano for her.........Wait a minute......maybe I don't have it so good!!
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From: San Diego
Great thread! Being a physician myself, I didn't think much about purchasing mods for the Z. My wife had a different opinion when they arrived.
I'll have to have her read this thread. At least it poses many sides to the issue.
I'll have to have her read this thread. At least it poses many sides to the issue.
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From: SoCal
Re: Critical question for all married modders
Originally posted by Darthvol
One of the negatives of being a lawyer is the fact that you can't help but train the spouse to argue effectively, and I am now paying the price for all the assertiveness and persuasion training I gave my wife.
I can't be the only potential/hopeful modder (the wife would say "ricer" or "money waster") on this forum who is struggling with trying to find a way to convince the spouse that modding is a good idea (or at least that she should let me do it w/o making me "pay" for it over and over again). Crawford is less than 1/4 mile from my wife's workplace, and I am very impressed w/Doug. Her recent mantra to me has become, "beware of Doug!"
FYI, She also has a Z, and she does like the strictly cosmetic mods of the $250.00 or less variety. Also be aware that she's an accountant, so fuzzy math won't work on her, and she could care less about any hp increase. She keeps arguing having a tough time to find a buyer when it's time to sell, and even though I have given her the spiel about the Magnusson-Moss (sp?) Act, she still responds, "but what if the mods DO cause your engine to blow up, and they CAN prove it? You'll be driving a Toyota Corolla!)
Anyone have any helpful stories? Ideas? Suggestions?
P.S. I'm hopeful that she won't look at this part of the forum, but she's also a member and if she does see this post: I LOVE YOU, Honey, Snookums, Sweetums!!!
One of the negatives of being a lawyer is the fact that you can't help but train the spouse to argue effectively, and I am now paying the price for all the assertiveness and persuasion training I gave my wife.
I can't be the only potential/hopeful modder (the wife would say "ricer" or "money waster") on this forum who is struggling with trying to find a way to convince the spouse that modding is a good idea (or at least that she should let me do it w/o making me "pay" for it over and over again). Crawford is less than 1/4 mile from my wife's workplace, and I am very impressed w/Doug. Her recent mantra to me has become, "beware of Doug!"
FYI, She also has a Z, and she does like the strictly cosmetic mods of the $250.00 or less variety. Also be aware that she's an accountant, so fuzzy math won't work on her, and she could care less about any hp increase. She keeps arguing having a tough time to find a buyer when it's time to sell, and even though I have given her the spiel about the Magnusson-Moss (sp?) Act, she still responds, "but what if the mods DO cause your engine to blow up, and they CAN prove it? You'll be driving a Toyota Corolla!)
Anyone have any helpful stories? Ideas? Suggestions?
P.S. I'm hopeful that she won't look at this part of the forum, but she's also a member and if she does see this post: I LOVE YOU, Honey, Snookums, Sweetums!!!
Share the bills 50/50
Disposable income = You each take whats left over after the bills are paid
She wants a new car, great...hope its in her "budget"
You should have your own disposbale income...your an adult and pay your bills....why should YOU have to explain to HER how you spend YOUR extra money? You shouldnt....its your money...you earned it....you spend it how you see fit
This only works if share equally in the house, utilities, day care thing
For purchases of a neutral nature ie cutains, dishwasher etc...I break it down like this....the house needs a realistic budget....if she chooses to buy the most expensive do-dad for the house you have to pick up the 50% that you didnt want to pay in the first place.
Agree on a house budget (includes all household goods/food) and if she wants to buy a bigger fancier fridge than what the budget allows she can pay the difference with her own "disposable income"
After a while women dont have to have the most expensive vaccum.....when they are paying the extra cost....
I have found this works two ways - you both agreed on a realistic budget and you each have YOUR OWN money to PLAY with and enjoy.
It will prevent the she drives a CLK55 AMG and I the husband have to drive the 5yr old beater.....which can lead to resentment despite all the love in the world.
You car, your budget, your toy
Another thing that I have found to work out good....invest the money you wanted to mod with....use that cash to buy real estate investments....gain a little equity....make a few bucks and use the money you made to reinvest while taking a little to spoil yourself
Just a thought.....if you can make say 15-25K a deal every couple of years it goes pretty far when it comes time to mod....
End of speech
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From: SoCal
Originally posted by Darthvol
When did the idea of an equal partnership in marriage become "sissy"? It's all a matter of what you want in marriage/life. If you want nothing out of a marriage but sex, cooking and housework, then certainly you can find a woman to fit the bill: low self-esteem; no sense of identity or self-worth; defines herself not as an individual but as "your wife"; has no opinions of her own; can't carry on a conversation except to say "you're right, dear"; obediently purchases your "wife beater" undershirts from Wal-Mart; cringes when you tell her she d***ed well better have dinner on the table by 6:00, and she'd f'ing better not burn it again; and brings you a Pabst Blue Ribbon from the fridge, just as ordered.
As hard as it may be for some guys to believe, some of us CHOOSE to be with strong women who are equal partners in the marriage; who can carry on an intelligent conversation about politics, religion, current events, and in my wife's case, cars and football; who are companions and friends, not servants; who actually have opinions and express them; and who are independently $uce$$ful in their own right (so they not only contribute enough to the marriage to support themselves but can also afford to buy YOU something nice every now and then). And as big of a shock as it might be to some folks, not every strong woman wants to emasculate her man or marry a wussie.
Yes, there are times the thought enters your head that it might be nice to have a woman who would just "obey," but it usually doesn't last very long. In my case, I have two Dobermans who are very obedient.
When did the idea of an equal partnership in marriage become "sissy"? It's all a matter of what you want in marriage/life. If you want nothing out of a marriage but sex, cooking and housework, then certainly you can find a woman to fit the bill: low self-esteem; no sense of identity or self-worth; defines herself not as an individual but as "your wife"; has no opinions of her own; can't carry on a conversation except to say "you're right, dear"; obediently purchases your "wife beater" undershirts from Wal-Mart; cringes when you tell her she d***ed well better have dinner on the table by 6:00, and she'd f'ing better not burn it again; and brings you a Pabst Blue Ribbon from the fridge, just as ordered.
As hard as it may be for some guys to believe, some of us CHOOSE to be with strong women who are equal partners in the marriage; who can carry on an intelligent conversation about politics, religion, current events, and in my wife's case, cars and football; who are companions and friends, not servants; who actually have opinions and express them; and who are independently $uce$$ful in their own right (so they not only contribute enough to the marriage to support themselves but can also afford to buy YOU something nice every now and then). And as big of a shock as it might be to some folks, not every strong woman wants to emasculate her man or marry a wussie.
Yes, there are times the thought enters your head that it might be nice to have a woman who would just "obey," but it usually doesn't last very long. In my case, I have two Dobermans who are very obedient.
I would rather my wife be my "partner" than just anohter mouth to feed.
Strong motivated women can only help you be a better man by encouraging you to do better and expect nothing but the best for the both of you and your children.
Why get married if its just dead weight? It would make more sense to stay single and hire a good maid. They are cheaper and never expect diamonds on special occasions
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From: Houston, TX
Re: Critical question for all married modders
Originally posted by SergEK
This has worked well for me when my wife makes money
Share the bills 50/50
Disposable income = You each take whats left over after the bills are paid
She wants a new car, great...hope its in her "budget"
You should have your own disposbale income...your an adult and pay your bills....why should YOU have to explain to HER how you spend YOUR extra money? You shouldnt....its your money...you earned it....you spend it how you see fit
This only works if share equally in the house, utilities, day care thing
For purchases of a neutral nature ie cutains, dishwasher etc...I break it down like this....the house needs a realistic budget....if she chooses to buy the most expensive do-dad for the house you have to pick up the 50% that you didnt want to pay in the first place.
Agree on a house budget (includes all household goods/food) and if she wants to buy a bigger fancier fridge than what the budget allows she can pay the difference with her own "disposable income"
After a while women dont have to have the most expensive vaccum.....when they are paying the extra cost....
I have found this works two ways - you both agreed on a realistic budget and you each have YOUR OWN money to PLAY with and enjoy.
It will prevent the she drives a CLK55 AMG and I the husband have to drive the 5yr old beater.....which can lead to resentment despite all the love in the world.
You car, your budget, your toy
Another thing that I have found to work out good....invest the money you wanted to mod with....use that cash to buy real estate investments....gain a little equity....make a few bucks and use the money you made to reinvest while taking a little to spoil yourself
Just a thought.....if you can make say 15-25K a deal every couple of years it goes pretty far when it comes time to mod....
End of speech
This has worked well for me when my wife makes money
Share the bills 50/50
Disposable income = You each take whats left over after the bills are paid
She wants a new car, great...hope its in her "budget"
You should have your own disposbale income...your an adult and pay your bills....why should YOU have to explain to HER how you spend YOUR extra money? You shouldnt....its your money...you earned it....you spend it how you see fit
This only works if share equally in the house, utilities, day care thing
For purchases of a neutral nature ie cutains, dishwasher etc...I break it down like this....the house needs a realistic budget....if she chooses to buy the most expensive do-dad for the house you have to pick up the 50% that you didnt want to pay in the first place.
Agree on a house budget (includes all household goods/food) and if she wants to buy a bigger fancier fridge than what the budget allows she can pay the difference with her own "disposable income"
After a while women dont have to have the most expensive vaccum.....when they are paying the extra cost....
I have found this works two ways - you both agreed on a realistic budget and you each have YOUR OWN money to PLAY with and enjoy.
It will prevent the she drives a CLK55 AMG and I the husband have to drive the 5yr old beater.....which can lead to resentment despite all the love in the world.
You car, your budget, your toy
Another thing that I have found to work out good....invest the money you wanted to mod with....use that cash to buy real estate investments....gain a little equity....make a few bucks and use the money you made to reinvest while taking a little to spoil yourself
Just a thought.....if you can make say 15-25K a deal every couple of years it goes pretty far when it comes time to mod....
End of speech
I should never have to explain to my partner how I spend MY part of the money. I'll go to Las Vegas and gamble it, if it suits me so. She can go and buy Sally's for all I care.
I've seen too many couples who think that they're equal, only to see one frowning at the other whenever the other buys something other than perceived as 'needed'. Simple human interaction can tell you that in such cases there is always a controller and a controlled (or a lot of arguing until such is established). Perception of 'needed' is determined by the controller. Controlled usually:
1. convinces himself/herself that controller's decision is correct
-OR-
2. may challenge the item, thus perhaps flipping the control 180 degress (so to say), if successful.
In 1st case, controlled gets marginal happiness at best. In 2nd, there is an argument.
This arrangement fits a surprising number of people (smart and dumb alike), but is not actually, trully an equal arrangement. It certainly does not fit my marriage.
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