abui01

iTrader: (68)

The consensus dictates that this act is not acceptable. It is neither a traditional thing nor a cultural thing in this specific situation... in fact - I even went to look it up [here] and it says nothing about lip locking.

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt because I'm the nicest guy in the universe: so lets look at this objectively. Let's say... my gf were to look like this:



And lets say that she and him were the bestest of buds in the whole wide world... would he still peck her on the lips? Or how about if she looked like this:



Would he still have done the exact same thing "in the moment" as he did that night? Prove my logic wrong, I welcome it. The cool thing about Psychology is, most people don't know how their brain functions - so if you tell me "it sorta just happened in the moment," anyone can tell you - "you have no idea wtf you're talking about or even know why you did it." It doesn't take Sigmund Freud to figure that out. It also doesn't take an Albert Einstein to figure out that any straight guy would probably think twice about kissing the girls pictured above... so the question lies:

Why did he peck her on the lips? Remember - Logic FTW

Every action has a purpose and a reason. Nothing is left to coincidence, nothing is "chance." If this were an accident, then by all means that's cool. If you trip over a rock and whack my head w/ ur sledge hammer, I'll be cool about it... I won't hold it against you. But this act was no accident nor tradition nor culture. So what was it?

ZIABLO

iTrader: (7)

And if he isn't apologetic, does he just think you're a punk that doesn't deserve the girl? Is he bigger than you...? lol seriously

0jiggy0

iTrader: (13)

You probly handled it way more mature then I would have. but if I wasnt mad enough to punch him in the face, that cocky d-bag response would have put me over the edge.

KManZ

iTrader: (8)

Right on... a true friend, a true man, would own up to the responsibility. You made it clear that it offended you, so in turn he should respect that, and apologize. A sincere explanation is all it would take, something like this: "I'm sorry about that, I didn't know that it would make you and your girl uncomfortable, it won't happen again". That's what a true friend would do for you.

The transgression has been committed, and if he doesn't come clean and apologize, then you have to think about the next move. Will he pursue your girl? How is your relationship with her? Will she give in to his advances? If there is that possibility that she could, in my eyes it isn't worth fighting over and there are other issues to deal with; but if she is 100% loyal, you either prevent any future contact with him, or the gauntlets come off.

That night, did he kiss anyone else's lady on the lips? Is he known to exhibit these kind of douche-bag tendencies on the regular? To answer your above post, there is no way a guy in their right mind would kiss one of those chicks, lending to the conclusion that he succumbed to his urges regardless of the consequences.

Jgrizzle

iTrader: (7)

I agree. Its hard to not freak the hell out about stuff like this but youve done well to not go ape ****.

However, if he is on the forums and most people can deduce who it is, I think its just as bad as if you were to over react in person. A lot of you guys seem really close in the Mid A so the calling out online actually means something. Unlike a lot of us who only know eachother by screen name.

Bottom line if the guy was a friend he would lay off and/or apologize. Even if he doesnt think what he did was wrong you and your sig. other thought it was wrong. Thats what he should be apologizing for. If i pissed off my good friend I would do my best to make it right.

NX2KDET

iTrader: (10)

I come from a Eastern European back ground as well (50% german and the rest I don't know) but kissing a girl with a small peck on the lips honestly is not a big deal to me, now if I am holding her hands or being romantic its a different story, now my ex gf who is a ***** gave some guy a small peck on the lips and I caught her and it was a whole diff story due to the body language they were both giving off.

bb1314

iTrader: (62)

So I got it narrowed down. Don't date Eastern Euro chicks!

but hmm...

Anhs_Girl != Eastern_European

*!= means NOT EQUAL

Jgrizzle

iTrader: (7)

I would let Ethan kiss my girlfriend. Thats because he is that awesome

Driven1

iTrader: (2)

I don't necessarily disagree with you. I was mainly referring to it being reserved for close family and friends (and royalty if you have any in your family) and that has shaped my opinion and point of view on a situation of similar circumstance and matter. I differentiate a kiss from a peck and I guess that's a way I determine the acceptability. The body language, situation, and atmosphere in which it occurred also comes into play. My background is mainly Dutch (mainly royalty) and English (my family in England being in the SW near Plymouth which is a more historical area and carries a more traditional view, unlike London for example which is more hip and trendy.).

I was just stating my point of view. Was it or was it not proper or appropriate? I don't know. I'd have to witness it honestly and make my determination off my observations on what actually happened. Im not one to jump to conclusions typically so I based it off what I would be used to seeing. I imagined a simple peck like I would be used to and based that off the reaction that was received by Ahn when he brought it up.

The pic in the origional post isn't a peck imo and wouldn't be acceptable to me. That is a kiss and you can tell by the body language....eyes closed, lips intertwined, etc. A peck is just that....a peck...make a "kissy face" and basically just touch lips for an instant. There is no locking of lips but just a touch.

bb1314

iTrader: (62)

aww... how about your sister?

Jgrizzle

iTrader: (7)

If I had a sister id definately let you kiss her to say hi

NX2KDET

iTrader: (10)

I would let DJParis date/kiss/bang my sister but not Robbie, Robbie is such a calm quite person and thats what scares me I swore I saw him on an episode of Dateline that was deamed way too explict for television, but that David Paris guy would be the epitome of the perfect brother in law.

bb1314

iTrader: (62)

+1 I heard that David Paris guy can give girls orgasm with his toes.

abui01

iTrader: (68)

+10000, but we also have to keep in mind people's egos/pride into the equation... which is totally cool with me I also know for a fact that he will never try this again on her. I suppose he didn't know how she would have reacted to it.

When someone doesn't know something, they generally would ask or find out. And since he "assumed" it was okay, I did his homework for him:

a: u think its okay that he kissed u on the lips?
l: its not acceptable

Can anyone say.. "BOOM! In yo face!" word from the Virgin Mary herself!

If any of you knew my gf, she's pretty traditional and stuff like this obviously doesn't fly. It's like laying a juicy one on a nun - totally awkward.

In our conversation face to face, he attempts to strengthen his case by stating, "if you were to peck one of your best female friends on the lips, I'm sure she wouldn't have mind."

Well, I put that theory to the test (not physically) - A conversation between me and my bestest female friend:

a: if i came up n pecked u on the lips out of the blue, what would ya think
j: i think it would be odd
j: and i don't think my bf would like that
j: he would be like wtf
a: regardless of what ur bf likes/dislikes, what would u think about it tho
a: just u alone
a: and how would u feel
a: say i didnt have a gf either
j: i would find it weird
j: hahah
j: and odd

Whoops! There goes that argument out the window as well A little miscalculation on his part perhaps? This world leaves no room for mistakes, every action has an equal and opposite reaction - so rule of thumb: Know the reason for all your actions and do not ever live life "assuming" things are okay... because in reality, sometimes they're not okay. And if you happen to commit a crime that is not okay, don't ever say "it just happened in the moment," just apologize and life goes on! (Or at least LIE to me and tell me you tripped and your lips locked by accident, LOL!) It's not that difficult!

Well, all Traditions/Morals/Beliefs aside, what really matters is REALITY. And the reality of the situation is: His actions made someone feel uncomfortable... so what is he going to do about it? What you do makes the difference because we can have this thread stretch on for 10+ pages... what will you DO about it?

He never kissed any other ladies that night on the lips nor has he ever done this before. And yes, no one in the right mind would peck the ladies above on the lips if they looked like that... so why would they? Let me answer this question objectively:

There are only a few reasons why someone would peck someone else.

1. That person must not totally repulse them, thus they must find them somewhat attractive
2. Emotional connection (ex. could be your male/female best friend, your grandma, your mother, it doesn't have to fall in the romantic category)
3. A dare or bet
4. Tradition or Culture
5. Romance
6. "In the moment!" - jk! We're looking for REAL reasons

Am I missing anything else? Out of those 5, which one would you chose as to being the "reason why" he committed such acts? At this point, I don't even care for an apology, I care for WHY. What function of his brain told him to peck my gf on the lips? What makes it acceptable and why do you think he did it?

THANK YOU! At least someone knows what's up! Just because he thinks he did nothing wrong doesn't mean he didn't offend someone else!!! Man, I feel like I'm teaching 1st grade in Mannerism class. "Okay kids, say sorry if you hurt your playmate even though you didn't intend to do so!"

Do we all need to hold hands and skip down the hallway next to learn how to respect one another and at least hold up to our actions? Dude.. I'm totally down!

dutchboy350Z

iTrader: (5)

+1 There's actually a lot more you can get away with (harmless flirting) when everyone is married. If you're close enough with your friend, you should be able to tell him to ease up without him getting all defensive.

dutchboy350Z

iTrader: (5)

+1 Considering I used to live in Holland and most of my relatives live in Holland/Germany it's definitely not normal to greet someone with a kiss on the lips if they are NOT a close family/friend. Although I think that's what Robbie meant.

bb1314

iTrader: (62)

The tradition thing is funny. Most Asian countries don't even do hugging between a guy and a girl but guys would wrap arm around another guy's shoulders when walking.

dutchboy350Z

iTrader: (5)

+1 I would compare it to kissing your grandmother. The duration of the peck should be as short as humanly possible.

Jgrizzle

iTrader: (7)

Shes not my special lady friend man, im just trying to help her conceive.

Yet again dutch the dude provides wisdom for every circumstance.

dutchboy350Z

iTrader: (5)