DUI!?!??!?! Screw You Copper!!!!!
05-05-2005, 01:43 AM
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DUI!?!??!?! Screw You Copper!!!!!
So I get pulled over 
in SF coming out of my favorite local bar with a buddy. The bartenders are hotties. Anyhoo:
Dyke Officer (DO from now on) (Condescending tone): The reason I pulled you over is because you have no front license plate.
Me: Oh well, I didn't put it on.
DO: How many have you had to drink?
Me: I had one beer. (I had 2)
DO: Really!?!??! Because you reek! , I mean you reek.
My friend: I had more than 1.
Me: I can take the tests.
DO: Yeah, you're gonna have to.
(Oh and she took my keys and threw them on top of my roof, biatch!)
1st test: Tilt your head back close your eyes, count internally to 30 and let me know when time is up. No problem done in 30 seconds. (Take that biatch)
2nd Test: Tilt head back close your eyes, touch your nose using the hand I call out, right, left, right, left, left, (thought you could trick me with that double left eh? nice try, think again beaver muncher) No problem again.
3rd test: 9 paces heel to toe, then 9 paces back (hahahahhaha I was about to do the running man) no friggin problem.
4th test: stand on one leg and count to 30 (I was thinking about doing some more dance moves and karate kicks) no prob, got any more dykosaurus rex?.
Breathalyzer time when a 2nd squad car pulls up, 0.3, now what, finger f*cker???
DO: Hmmm you shouldn't drink, alcohol doesn't mix well with you, your body is telling you, you reek, you should drink at home.
3 other officers: Yeah I can smell it form here. What is that Vodka? etc.
DO to other officer: Do we even have to go to phase 2? THen they walk away out of earshot. ( I imagine it goes something like this, DO: Boy I ****ed up, he passed all the tests with flying colors, I thought for sure he was wasted) They come back.
DO: Alright you're free to go, Im gonna give you a fix it for the plate, wait in your car.
Me to friend in car while waiting for ticket: Hahah I killed that test, take that biatch!!!
DO to my friend: You've got a good friend driving you there, referring to me.
Me: And honest too, I told you I only had one.
DO: Gee that's never happened.
Me: What?
DO (apologetic friendly tone): Having someone reek that bad and not blow a 2.0 or higher.
Me: Hmm must be an asian thing, we have leaky pores. Later!
in SF coming out of my favorite local bar with a buddy. The bartenders are hotties. Anyhoo:Dyke Officer (DO from now on) (Condescending tone): The reason I pulled you over is because you have no front license plate.
Me: Oh well, I didn't put it on.
DO: How many have you had to drink?
Me: I had one beer. (I had 2)
DO: Really!?!??! Because you reek! , I mean you reek.
My friend: I had more than 1.
Me: I can take the tests.
DO: Yeah, you're gonna have to.
(Oh and she took my keys and threw them on top of my roof, biatch!)
1st test: Tilt your head back close your eyes, count internally to 30 and let me know when time is up. No problem done in 30 seconds. (Take that biatch)
2nd Test: Tilt head back close your eyes, touch your nose using the hand I call out, right, left, right, left, left, (thought you could trick me with that double left eh? nice try, think again beaver muncher) No problem again.
3rd test: 9 paces heel to toe, then 9 paces back (hahahahhaha I was about to do the running man) no friggin problem.
4th test: stand on one leg and count to 30 (I was thinking about doing some more dance moves and karate kicks) no prob, got any more dykosaurus rex?.
Breathalyzer time when a 2nd squad car pulls up, 0.3, now what, finger f*cker???
DO: Hmmm you shouldn't drink, alcohol doesn't mix well with you, your body is telling you, you reek, you should drink at home.
3 other officers: Yeah I can smell it form here. What is that Vodka? etc.
DO to other officer: Do we even have to go to phase 2? THen they walk away out of earshot. ( I imagine it goes something like this, DO: Boy I ****ed up, he passed all the tests with flying colors, I thought for sure he was wasted) They come back.
DO: Alright you're free to go, Im gonna give you a fix it for the plate, wait in your car.
Me to friend in car while waiting for ticket: Hahah I killed that test, take that biatch!!!
DO to my friend: You've got a good friend driving you there, referring to me.
Me: And honest too, I told you I only had one.
DO: Gee that's never happened.
Me: What?
DO (apologetic friendly tone): Having someone reek that bad and not blow a 2.0 or higher.
Me: Hmm must be an asian thing, we have leaky pores. Later!
Last edited by Brando222; 05-05-2005 at 02:27 AM.
05-05-2005, 01:58 AM
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hahaha thats funny. i do love a good f*** the police every once in a while. and im just waiting to read the post from the people that are gunna be like "bla,bla..you should not drink and drive." he was not drunk. and passed all the test so dont flame....hahahahaha what a dyke she was.. hahah
05-05-2005, 06:44 AM
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Dude, you jinxed yourself! Just the other day you said you've never been stopped at a sobriety checkpoint.. next thing you know, you're getting pulled over! 
Haha.. glad to hear everything worked out!
Haha.. glad to hear everything worked out!
05-05-2005, 06:48 AM
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WTG, drink and drive, Sooner or later you will get busted or kill someone.
You might think its funny, but even 1 beer impairs driving.
Your also lucky, there is a law called the Per Se Law, doesn't matter how much you had, you could blow a .03 and they pop you for DUI.
I cannot stand people that drink and drive. Sorry man, no sympathy from me and I am sure other folks out there,
Flame on!
Chalk this up as a WAKE-UP call!
I am really curious, did they let you drive away after admitting to drinking a few beers?
Here, they don't let you drive, thye make a sober person drive!
You might think its funny, but even 1 beer impairs driving.
Your also lucky, there is a law called the Per Se Law, doesn't matter how much you had, you could blow a .03 and they pop you for DUI.
I cannot stand people that drink and drive. Sorry man, no sympathy from me and I am sure other folks out there,
Flame on!
Chalk this up as a WAKE-UP call!
I am really curious, did they let you drive away after admitting to drinking a few beers?
Here, they don't let you drive, thye make a sober person drive!
05-05-2005, 06:54 AM
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Originally Posted by zand02max
WTG, drink and drive, Sooner or later you will get busted or kill someone.
You might think its funny, but even 1 beer impairs driving.
Your also lucky, there is a law called the Per Se Law, doesn't matter how much you had, you could blow a .03 and they pop you for DUI.
I cannot stand people that drink and drive. Sorry man, no sympathy from me and I am sure other folks out there,
Flame on!
Chalk this up as a WAKE-UP call!
I am really curious, did they let you drive away after admitting to drinking a few beers?
Here, they don't let you drive, thye make a sober person drive!
You might think its funny, but even 1 beer impairs driving.
Your also lucky, there is a law called the Per Se Law, doesn't matter how much you had, you could blow a .03 and they pop you for DUI.
I cannot stand people that drink and drive. Sorry man, no sympathy from me and I am sure other folks out there,
Flame on!
Chalk this up as a WAKE-UP call!
I am really curious, did they let you drive away after admitting to drinking a few beers?
Here, they don't let you drive, thye make a sober person drive!
05-05-2005, 07:22 AM
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Originally Posted by 2004z
Look man, everyone would agree with you that it's not safe to drink and drive, but do you really have to preach this zero tolerance **** here?
I don't give a rats a$$ that you or other folks are pissed because of my opinion! I am sure there are others that agree, this guy is a moron for drinking and driving. Simply uncalled for to do that,
BTW, this is not subject to a debate either. Just plain CHILDISH and IMMATURE! This guy obviously is immature for his age thinking he got away from a possible DUI.
Last edited by zand02max; 05-05-2005 at 07:28 AM.
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05-05-2005, 07:46 AM
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Calm down man. Look, I'm not trying to get drawn into an argument here. I'm not trying to be a "tough guy," nor am I "pissed" about what you said.
My opinion may differ from yours in terms of how many drinks one can have before driving, but that's immaterial here. That is not what I'm getting at.
I am simply questioning your use of this forum to preach about your opinion on drunk driving. Do you really think your post is going to change anything in this guy's life?
Oh well... it's an open forum, so you can post whatever and wherever you like. I've got nothing else to say about this.
My opinion may differ from yours in terms of how many drinks one can have before driving, but that's immaterial here. That is not what I'm getting at.
I am simply questioning your use of this forum to preach about your opinion on drunk driving. Do you really think your post is going to change anything in this guy's life?
Oh well... it's an open forum, so you can post whatever and wherever you like. I've got nothing else to say about this.
05-05-2005, 07:50 AM
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Originally Posted by yobri
Wow, zand is in the NorCal section... 
Brandon, I actually cringed when I read that she threw the keys on the roof...
Brandon, I actually cringed when I read that she threw the keys on the roof...
05-05-2005, 08:00 AM
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Originally Posted by zand02max
WTG, drink and drive, Sooner or later you will get busted or kill someone.
You might think its funny, but even 1 beer impairs driving.
Your also lucky, there is a law called the Per Se Law, doesn't matter how much you had, you could blow a .03 and they pop you for DUI.
I cannot stand people that drink and drive. Sorry man, no sympathy from me and I am sure other folks out there,
Flame on!
Chalk this up as a WAKE-UP call!
I am really curious, did they let you drive away after admitting to drinking a few beers?
Here, they don't let you drive, thye make a sober person drive!
You might think its funny, but even 1 beer impairs driving.
Your also lucky, there is a law called the Per Se Law, doesn't matter how much you had, you could blow a .03 and they pop you for DUI.
I cannot stand people that drink and drive. Sorry man, no sympathy from me and I am sure other folks out there,
Flame on!
Chalk this up as a WAKE-UP call!
I am really curious, did they let you drive away after admitting to drinking a few beers?
Here, they don't let you drive, thye make a sober person drive!
Hey Zand,
I like you and all but do you really think that 1 beer can impair driving. I personally don't think so.
05-05-2005, 08:27 AM
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Brandon, great story!! 
zand, take your hoity toity uptightness and shove it. Better yet, take your self-righteousness and go do something good with it, like distributing water to help party-goers wind down before drinking.
zand, take your hoity toity uptightness and shove it. Better yet, take your self-righteousness and go do something good with it, like distributing water to help party-goers wind down before drinking.
05-05-2005, 08:50 AM
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Sure, one beer can impair ... depending on body weight, caloric intake, resident body fat, and liver health (to name just a few). He also didn't mention WHEN he had his beer(s) , so you may be assuming that he slammed two beers, and then jumped into his car and peeled out of the parking lot.
Personally, I had a beer on Monday night, and drove home from the bar. Of course, I had the beer FOUR HOURS before I left. I am also about 5'-10" and am a little overweight at 190lbs. Did the beer effect my driving? No. Would I have passed a breathalizer test? Of course.
This is the problems with online forums ... no one ever gets all the facts.
Personally, I had a beer on Monday night, and drove home from the bar. Of course, I had the beer FOUR HOURS before I left. I am also about 5'-10" and am a little overweight at 190lbs. Did the beer effect my driving? No. Would I have passed a breathalizer test? Of course.
This is the problems with online forums ... no one ever gets all the facts.
Originally Posted by zand02max
1 Beer can impair.
Listen folks, I apologize for being so irate about this. Drinking and driving is a pet peeve of mine. I really despise it.
Listen folks, I apologize for being so irate about this. Drinking and driving is a pet peeve of mine. I really despise it.
05-05-2005, 08:53 AM
#19
ok, time to play the good guy bad guy.
zand02max has a valid point just his tone was slightly hostile, but he already apologized for it.
On the other hand
his story was more a 0 cop vs 1 brandon and not about drinking and driving. I do not think drinking and driving is a good idea, but I know Brandon and I think he knows his limits and can make sound judgements regarding his ability to drive soberly and safely.
So play nice people!!
anyways, Brandon always reeks of alcohol and I think it was his red face that gave it away more than his drinking. Power to the Reds!!
zand02max has a valid point just his tone was slightly hostile, but he already apologized for it.
On the other hand
his story was more a 0 cop vs 1 brandon and not about drinking and driving. I do not think drinking and driving is a good idea, but I know Brandon and I think he knows his limits and can make sound judgements regarding his ability to drive soberly and safely.
So play nice people!!
anyways, Brandon always reeks of alcohol and I think it was his red face that gave it away more than his drinking. Power to the Reds!!
05-05-2005, 09:02 AM
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Originally Posted by whatever
Brandon always reeks of alcohol and I think it was his red face that gave it away more than his drinking. Power to the Reds!!
Yeah, POWER TO THE RED FACE!!!!