Just for the Locals...New Barbies
02-05-2007, 09:10 AM
#1
350Z-holic
Thread Starter
Just for the Locals...New Barbies
Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for
The Triangle market:
"Cary Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only on the square in Cary. She comes with an
assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey
and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face
lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
"Holly Springs/Apex Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
”South Raleigh Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a
Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only
available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable
bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
"North Raleigh/Wake Forest Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2.
Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also
available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to
afford any of them.
"Clayton Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud
light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's
butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag
bumper sticker absolutely free.
"Garner Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Clayton
Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a
see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
"Chapel Hill Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her
Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Chapel Hill Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
The Triangle market:
"Cary Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only on the square in Cary. She comes with an
assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey
and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face
lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
"Holly Springs/Apex Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
”South Raleigh Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a
Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only
available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable
bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
"North Raleigh/Wake Forest Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2.
Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also
available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to
afford any of them.
"Clayton Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud
light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's
butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag
bumper sticker absolutely free.
"Garner Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Clayton
Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a
see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
"Chapel Hill Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her
Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Chapel Hill Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
02-06-2007, 06:12 AM
#5
350Z-holic
Thread Starter
Just got a new one:
ITB Barbie comes with an assortment of Coach purses, Minolo Blanks, a SMS class ring, and a tiny mix-breed dog named Lovey that fits in her pocket book. She only shops at the Lassiter, Cameron Village, or on one of her many trips to NYC. Don't sell this little spender short, she works hard for the money... answering phones at Daddy's law firm. You can often find her chowing down on a grilled cheese sandwich at the Carolina Country Club or Glenwood Pharmacy along with Sorority Skipper and Golfing Ken. ITB Barbie will happily party with North Raleigh Barbie, but she secretly mocks her for being "new money." And unless she's driving a Mercedes, she isn't happy.
ITB Barbie comes with an assortment of Coach purses, Minolo Blanks, a SMS class ring, and a tiny mix-breed dog named Lovey that fits in her pocket book. She only shops at the Lassiter, Cameron Village, or on one of her many trips to NYC. Don't sell this little spender short, she works hard for the money... answering phones at Daddy's law firm. You can often find her chowing down on a grilled cheese sandwich at the Carolina Country Club or Glenwood Pharmacy along with Sorority Skipper and Golfing Ken. ITB Barbie will happily party with North Raleigh Barbie, but she secretly mocks her for being "new money." And unless she's driving a Mercedes, she isn't happy.
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02-08-2007, 04:51 AM
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[QUOTE=mhoward1]
"Holly Springs/Apex Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
future milf barbie lol...
"Holly Springs/Apex Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
future milf barbie lol...
