Just in time for Christmas
Just in time for Christmas
For you Dallasites...
>
> > Just in time for Christmas
> >
> > Today Mattel announced the release of models of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Dallas/Fort Worth area market
> >
> > HIGHLAND PARK BARBIE:
> >
> > This princess Barbie is only sold at Highland Park Village. She
comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
> >
> > PLEASANT GROVE BARBIE:
> > This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with tinted windows and her own Meth Lab kit. This model is available after dark and can be paid for only in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you're a cop. Then we don't know what you're talking about.
> >
> > PLANO BARBIE:
> > This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hum 2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. But you can't afford them anyway.
> >
> > MESQUITE BARBIE:
> >
> > This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, NASCAR shirt and has a tattoo of a Tweety bird on her shoulder. She has big hair, a six pack of Bud Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 6 feet and can kick Mullet-haired Kenny doll's *** when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and
get its Confederate flag bumper stickers absolutely free.
> >
> > NORTH DALLAS BARBIE:
> > This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard-print beach outfit from Stein Mart and drinks cosmopolitans while she entertains friends beside the pool. Percocet prescription available.
> >
> > RICHARDSON BARBIE:
> > This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your choice of Honda Pilot SUV or Ford Windstar minivan. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.
> >
> > DEEP ELLUM BARBIE:
> > This doll is made of actual tofu, has long stringy hair and arch less feet, sandals, white socks, no makeup and a mutt. She prefers that you call her "Willow". For a limited time only, she comes with her own Whole Foods marked discount card.
> >
> > FORT WORTH BARBIE:
> > This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased her beer-gutted boyfriend out of the house. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with your choice of lips covered in sparkly pink or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored thongs that stick out the back and a white see-through halter top. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi and a old Chevrolet Beretta
>
> > Just in time for Christmas
> >
> > Today Mattel announced the release of models of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Dallas/Fort Worth area market
> >
> > HIGHLAND PARK BARBIE:
> >
> > This princess Barbie is only sold at Highland Park Village. She
comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
> >
> > PLEASANT GROVE BARBIE:
> > This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with tinted windows and her own Meth Lab kit. This model is available after dark and can be paid for only in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you're a cop. Then we don't know what you're talking about.
> >
> > PLANO BARBIE:
> > This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hum 2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. But you can't afford them anyway.
> >
> > MESQUITE BARBIE:
> >
> > This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, NASCAR shirt and has a tattoo of a Tweety bird on her shoulder. She has big hair, a six pack of Bud Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 6 feet and can kick Mullet-haired Kenny doll's *** when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and
get its Confederate flag bumper stickers absolutely free.
> >
> > NORTH DALLAS BARBIE:
> > This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard-print beach outfit from Stein Mart and drinks cosmopolitans while she entertains friends beside the pool. Percocet prescription available.
> >
> > RICHARDSON BARBIE:
> > This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your choice of Honda Pilot SUV or Ford Windstar minivan. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.
> >
> > DEEP ELLUM BARBIE:
> > This doll is made of actual tofu, has long stringy hair and arch less feet, sandals, white socks, no makeup and a mutt. She prefers that you call her "Willow". For a limited time only, she comes with her own Whole Foods marked discount card.
> >
> > FORT WORTH BARBIE:
> > This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased her beer-gutted boyfriend out of the house. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with your choice of lips covered in sparkly pink or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored thongs that stick out the back and a white see-through halter top. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi and a old Chevrolet Beretta
Registered User
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 4,084
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From: Dallas, TX
Can I be the Lewisville Barbie? 
Chick who's into cars and racing, but doesn't play well with many of the other barbies because she'd rather be underneath her car, installing new parts than comparing nail polish and shopping in crowded malls.
Chick who's into cars and racing, but doesn't play well with many of the other barbies because she'd rather be underneath her car, installing new parts than comparing nail polish and shopping in crowded malls.
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