Your next assignment is to go to Japan and get us some pictures of the Z's rolling down the assembly line. I'm sure everyone here would really enjoy seeing those pictures. Good luck, and have a nice flight. We are all counting on you.

 

Funny you should mention this.

You see, as I type this, I am currently on my way to Japan to do just what you have sugessted! Unfortunately, I could not afford a flight. So instead, I snuck on to a freighter from the Port of LA. I am stowed away in a cargo hold, typing this message in almost pure darkness, the only light being the glow of my LCD screen.

I have to go now, as I need to conserve battery power. I'll write again if anything interesting happens on the ship. If not, next post will be from Oppama.

Over and out.

Scafremon

 

LOL!!

 

Scaf,

I heard this supposed to be a full expense paid mission, just like your last one to NNA head quarter. Did the accountant cheated and pocketed the money? Better ask Jay to investigate.

 

I thought expenses would be paid. I thought I would be on JAL, having a drink, a good meal, a movie.

But noooooooo!

It's so dang dark in here. As soon as I can find my backpack, and then my camera, I'll take a picture to show you all just how dark it is.


I'm starting to actually freak out a bit now. I know it is just my mind, but I am hearing voices. It's not the ship's crew (they haven't been down here since we left port), but someone. else is here. I know it.

gottagonow.

 

Hey Scaf...Scaf..is that you..it's me..Pat...I brought you some meat ball sandwiches..somehow I knew you'd forget the food ..God it's dark down here,,wait..I think I found a light switch

 

PAT!

Don't hit that switch! It's not a light switch, it's the (what is it...think...think...be funny...) it's the sump pump! (not funny...damn).

But thanks for the meatball sandwiches. These are real good! Italian meatballs, no?

Pat... you aren't here to (gulp) kill me are you?!

(Organ music)

 

No I'm not here to kill you ...you Idiot!...I heard about your mission and brought an extra digital camera with fresh batteries..extra supplies if you will..and by the way..for the rest of this mission call me by my code name Z FU...One more thing...turn off that stupid MP3 player..that organ music is going to attract the bad guys

 

I thought I heard EKG playing down there!

 

I'd just like to know how you got Internet access in the middle of the Pacific in a cargo hold on a frieghter??

 

Does Bond get silly questions like that? Good work agent Scafremon and Z FU. Can't wait to hear what happens next.

 

And another thing Scaf..calm down..your heart is beating louder than that silly organ music..thought I'd have to give you an EKG..Oh and as I was sneaking on board I hooked up this nifty satelite dish so we can keep in touch with the folks back at my350Z.com

(does that answer everyone's questions so far..can we please get back to our story now )

 

I'm glad to hear you are on my side Z FU. I was worried that NNA had contracted you to eliminate the Scarfman. I wonder if anyone else has stowed away in here.

I think we have about a week before we arrive in port. Not much to do here in the meantime. I did bring along a portable cribbage board (it's the game of sailors, ya know). What else did I pack...let's see:

Sewing Kit
Some mice (part of a experiment that UCLA asked me to conduct)
Poster of Zgirl (never leave home without it)
Compass
Ten CD's of 'Cheap Trick - Live at Budakahn" (good for bribing the locals with)
Swimming Pool Chemical Test Kit (what was I thinking?)

I sure I hope I find my other backpack, because it has my TOILETRIES, which I sure could use right now!

Z FU? Can you hear that? I hear someone else talking. What are they saying? (listening....listening...listening....) I think I can make it out. He is saying:

"Is Everybody happy (happier?)
Well Amigos, was I right?"

Who could that be?

 

Wait a minute..ZGirl told me I was the only one with that poster...women and car salesmen..can't trust them...but I digress.....

Here Scaf..you must have dropped this bag of toiletries on your way down into the hold...be more carefull will ya

Yes I hear the voice...he did say he was going away for awhile..could it possibly be...The Riddler?

(BTW..who thought up this mission and decided to assign so many agents? Should have been a one man op...oh well..I'm here now...will make the best of it)

 

Well, I doubt we will ever actually 'see' the Riddler, and I am now wondering if I really heard his voice anyway. My wife tells me that while I sleep, I often mutter "Is everybody happy (happier)?" I don't believe her, because she also says I snore, fart, and scratch while I sleep, but these are things the Scarfman wouldn't do.

Thanks for finding my TP Z FU.

brb.......


maybe not 'right' back. Going to read up on how to drive this ship, in case we are forced to overpower the crew at anypoint on the mission.

 

Good idea..you study the workings of the ship...I'll take care of the crew if need be..I am a master of Kung Fu San Soo you know...I have shuriken & sai on me at all times..I'm gonna look around...see you in awhile

(to myself....self, I sure hope his wife is wrong about all the sounds and smells of Scarf....not to many windows down here)

 

Z FU?

Can you swim?

Reason I ask, is that I think we are ON THE WRONG SHIP!!

I just got the manual on how to drive this vessel we're on, and the manual is called "How to Row, Row, Row your Boat, Gently down the Stream"! This isn't good.

If you can't swim, no bigee. I packed (2) sets of arm floaties in my bag. Grab your stuff, and we'll swim (i.e.: float) out to the Hual Traveller, which, based on calculations I derived using my compass, in conjunction with the chlorine level and ph level of the surrounding water, should pass a few miles from our current location in about 20 minutes.

"All Off-Board"
Hooooooooooooooonk

 

I knew things didn't look right..I have attached a two man sub to the ship..it's how I got here..we'll take that..pass me a set of those arm floaties

 

Yes, the sub! Good going Z FU!

(climbs into sub.......)

Ewwwwww.... this is kinda cramped quarters for two men such as us. I think you need to sit....like this. Then...I can put my legs .....here. Yes, this is good.

Agent Z FU..... has anyone ever told you what beautiful eyes you have? Whatsay we just just take this sub all the way to Japan? Huh Sailor?

Ahem...sorry....strike that. I was delusional for a sec. It's that poster. My mind is playing tricks on me.

Let's talk about them Harleys you ride. Yea. Harleys. Car mods. Shop tools. I'm better now.

 

Why yes.. I have been told I have beautiful blue eyes...but that's not important now...

If we ditch the ZGirl Blow Up Doll we'll have plenty of room..I only brought it along to use as a ...a...life raft..yea that's it..adiu, my love....parting is such...

Never mind...whrere were we..oh yes..we can take the sub all the way to Oppama..it's solar powered and the weather is perfect..

I'm driving...so I guess in Harley terms..you be my *****..

Get some sleep..with the HD fuel injection it shouldn't take us that long...I'll wake you when we're coming into port