http://www.craigslist.org/sby/w4m/78184031.html

Date my mom!!!!!! - 44 (gilroy, south county)

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Reply to: anon-78184031@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-06-10, 5:21PM PDT


Ok...so I really think my mom could use a decent guy in her life. Decent being the key word. I am sick of hearing about all these weirdos and freaks who take her out! First dates become last dates quickly!! So here I am trying to fix her up with someone who will treat her right. Here are the requirements...

1. Please don't expect my mom to pay on the first date...that's not the way it works folks! Call her old fashioned, but c'mon!
2. You MUST be able to keep up with her. She works out six times a week and expects that whoever she is dating won't be eating her dust all the time!
3. She really enjoys wine...she works at a winery on the weekends. No she is not an alcoholic, but she does like to go wine tasting. So if you enjoy a good glass of wine that is a HUGE bonus!
4. It's important that you like animals...I am currently going to school to become a veterinarian so this is especially important to me. Additionally, my mom has several animals.
5. DO NOT expect her to take you home or for her to go back to your place. She will not be sleeping with anyone on the first date!! Now get to know her and well....all bets are off! Hehe
6. Don't be a religous fanatic. We have both already been condemned to hell by well meaning Christian fanatics (even though we believe in God), so no need to tell us again. LOL
7. Have a sense of humor. Life is too short to be depressed and serious all the time...so you need to be able to laugh!
8. It would be nice if you had your own place so she could get away from me every once in awhile. Ok...let's face it...I want you to have your own place so I can have WILD parties while she is gone! Hehe
9. You should be fairly intelligent...my mom graduated top of her high school and college classes.

Hmmm well that's all I can think of at the moment. So if you fit this description go ahead and drop me a line and if you pass the screening process I will pass you on to my mom! LOL!

Take care and have a wonderful day!

 

& I found you a job too!!!

http://www.craigslist.org/sfc/w4m/78185473.html

Position of 'My Boyfriend' Available - 24 (downtown / civic / van ness)

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Reply to: anon-78185473@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-06-10, 4:45PM PDT


Position: My Boyfriend

Duties*: Must engage in activities on a weekly basis
Must celebrate at least some major holidays with me
Must like surprises
Must be witty, funny and somewhat charming
Must communicate regularly with compelete honesty
Must be flexiable and open to other tasks as they may arise

* I'm not just seeking someone to spoil and
accompany me, but a man who wants to understand me and to be understood..


Benefits position offers: By taking this position you will recieve one fully functioning, open minded, emotionally mature girlfriend
Ocassional meals cooked
You will get gifts on all major holidays
You will even get surprises sometimes
You will always have a date
You will get someone to help you figure out all life's problems
You will have someone to ***** about your day to
You will have someone to take on those trips you've been meaning to go on
Your mother will stop nagging about when you're going to meet a nice girl
Other benefits open for negotiation upon your request and the employers desire for you to fill this position.

Please fill out application below and return *WITH PHOTO* for consideration for this position.
Name:
Age:
Occupation:
Location of residence:
Living situation:
Grew up:
Pets:
Languages:
Availability:

True or False:
-I want a girlfriend

-I am already married/seeing someone

-I like fun, cute, full figured ladies

-I am ticklish

-I smoke

-I won't date a smoker

-A lady who smokes? Sexy!

-I drink

-I pick my nose

-I am silly/funny/humorous, or at least I try

-I hate PDAs (Public Displays of Affection)

-I love monkeys

-I have friends

-my farts stink

-I think romance is for cheeseballs

-I snore

-Mullets rock

-I'm a tiger in bed

-I am not a good kisser

-I love sports

-Whoever wrote this ad is nuts, but probably a total sweetie that I could adore

 

Alright tony I don't think you pass for number 2, but hey we know you like all kinds of animals such as dogs... and especially sea lions off the highway 1 coast! Tony I think you have a good chance...

So take one for the team so you can introduce me to her hot daughter? Or are you just going to go after that from the begining? ;P hahhaha

 

Dave, you know you were seaching it for yourself!!

 

hell yeah, after what Brandon and Yuichi told me about how hot Craigslist girls are... I had to look

 

What? This thing works? I thought it's only dudes trying to get guys to meetup.........

 

No moodie thats called my350z... Why do you think Tony is here hahah just kidding man

 

Tony,

u should change your avatar to something really asspecial

 

Arvin, you should change your avatar to this:

 

 

lol... Ah, good old my350z... Relieves the stress of the day with this good humor.