abui01

iTrader: (68)

A Man's 3 goals in Life:
1. Health (who cares about talking about your health on forums)
2. Wealth (or in this case, our rice mobiles which is a topic we cover Everyday)
3. Women (a-HA! a new topic that has yet been explored in Mid-A)

With all the unFunction:TUNED threads and chapters in Mid-A, I found it necessary to start a new novel: the unFunction:FLIRT series regarding our love lives (or lack their of,) success, and failures... or other people's failures in this case!

The question at hand...

Q: "What to do when a guy starts talking to the girl you brought to the bar?"
A: unFunction:FLIRT him

------------------------------------The Story------------------------------------

I walk into a bar w/ my very attractive female friend (whom is like a little sister to me btw) and we sit down to grab a drink and an appetizer. Suddenly, this dude comes up and sits next to her trying to start up a conversation. I look over and it happens to be our mutual acquaintance whom I haven't seen in awhile. The funny thing is, he was totally trying to "hooolllleerr" at her... right infront of me! He has no idea of our "status," I could have totally been dating this girl at the moment but he had failed to acknowledge me or even ask. I can tell right off the bat this guy was a "nice guy" so I could understand where he was coming from. I was once a nice guy once upon a time too, but the fact that he failed to acknowledge me gave me every right to a "no holds bar ball busting session: to the hardcore max abui style"

Commence Busting:

Him: "Hey you should let me get you a drink."

Her: "I'm driving afterward"

Him: "No it's really good, trust me!"

Her: "No that's ok, thanks"

Him: "Oh common! You'll really like it!"

Me: "SO! What's goin ON guys?! Hey dude, where's MY drink?! Why didn't I get offered one? *turn to her* I'm jealous of you dammit!"

Him: "You're a guy!"

Me: "OHH!! So do I need a pair of ***** to get you to buy me a drink?"

Him: "hahaha, yeah man, you need *****"

Me: "Just because I'm a guy you won't buy me a drink? Well that's not fair, am I not hot enough for you?"

Him: "nah not really, haha"

Me: "So I have to be a female, with *****, AND hot for you to buy me a drink? So you must be tryin ta holla at her?"

Him: *shakes head* "nah of course not.."

Me: "So she's your friend?"

Him: "yup!"

Me: "Well I'm your friend too, I mean.. how long have I known you.. 4 yrs? How long have you two known each other?"

They look at each other...

Him: "2 years?"

Her: "yeah about 2 years"

Me: "You've known me longer, how come you never ask ME to go out and buy ME drinks? We're "friends" aren't we?!?.... how'd you two meet?"

Him: "At some event some years ago"

Me: "Well that's awfully vague... and you got her number then but it takes 4 years for you to get mine? Well that's not cool, I thought we were tight yo!"

Him: "Well you're not a girl"

Me: "whatever, she's hot isnt she?"

Him: "... yeah she is" (all shy looking)

Me: "So you'd want to hangout with your hot female friends moreso than your boys, what ever happen to bros before hoes? Do you have a double standard?"

Him: "She's not a hoe"

Me: "you're taking it too literally, it's just a saying but the concept behind the statement is what matters; you should lighten up" *BIG Grin*

Me: "Well I think you have a double standard and I don't blame you, she's pretty smokin' hot and you know what the funny thing is? Every guy I introduced her to has never failed to hit on her" *turn to her* "you know you have 2 great gifts that were blessed upon you."

Her: "hahaha really? what would they be?"

Me: "what do you think they are?"

Her: *shrugs* "I dunno?"

Me: *turns to him* "what do YOU think they are?"

Him: *shrugs*

Me: "1. her hot looks, people tend to be much nicer to her and 2. her power over men, she gets people to do things for her... *as I watch him offer to cut her chicken skewers* .. sometimes without even asking!"

The funny thing is, he couldn't even get the chicken to come off the skewer! He stopped trying immediately after I said that.

Me: *turns to her* "Dam I'm Jealous of YOU!! You get guys to buy you drinks AND cut your chicken!" *turns to him* "You're so thoughtful! Can you cut mine too?!?!" *smiles*
Him: "no..."

Me: *sad puppy dog eyes and frowny* "hmMm... now can you cut it for me... pwwweeeaase?!?... Is it working??!"

Him: "hahaha nope"

Her: "no it's like this! *sad puppy dog face*

Him: "haha yeah that'll do it! *turns to her* You sure you don't want me to get you a drink?" (trying to phase me out of the convo? LOL, bad move buddy)

Her: "no that's ok"

Me: "You see, she's like my little sister, I can't let her drink and drive... but you can buy ME a drink."

Him: "... naaah"

Me: "What's wrong? Don't you ever buy your guy friends drinks? When I go out usually one person buys the whole party a round... do you only buy drinks for women you can potentially holla at?"

Him: "She's just a friend, I'm not trying to holla"

Me: "Your body language dictates otherwise, you can't fool me nor lie to me; I'm a psychology professor, I teach classes on the weekends on social dynamics"

Him: "you DO?!? So what does my body language tell you?"
Me: "That you're attracted to her and that you show interest.. a little TOO much interest"

Her: *giggles* "ok guys, you can stop"

Right then, he was saved by a girl that approached me from behind and smacked my butt. I turn around and it's another acquaintance I haven't spoken to in awhile. We'll call her Girl B.

Girl B: "HEY YOU! Long time no see! How've you been?"

Me: "I've been quite intrigued this afternoon by the unfolding of "mackingful" events."

Girl B: "Macking? Who? What? Is that your girlfriend?"

Me: "you think she's hot?"

Girl B: "yeah!!"

Me: "no actually my gf is hotter, but this girl is like a little sister to me. This guy here is trying to holla at her but his game is really bad."

Her: "hahahaha you think so? how so?"

Me: "Just watch them! It's actually pretty comical!"

I position my body toward her slightly to pretend I'm engaged in a deep conversation with her while we secretly spy on the newbie macker. One minute later, (yes it only took one minute) she bursted out laughing. We then see the guy get up and talk to the bar tender to order some water.

Me: *looking back toward my friend* "We were just having a discussion about his game on you"

Her: *shields her face and whispers* ".... he HAS NONE.... either that or it's REALLY BAD..."

(He finishes talking to the bar tender and joins back into the conversation.)

Him: "So did you just switch conversations between your friend to this girl?"

(is he trying to say I'm a bad friend because I ignored my friend or something? LOL!!! This calls for Pwnage!) To add insult to injury, I had to CRITIQUE his game right INFRONT OF HER AND have my new found friend critique him too for the low blow to the ego!

Me: "Actually I was having a conversation about your macking skills..."

Him: "HuH? what macking skills? I'm not macking... we're friends"

Her: "yes we're friends"

Me: "Ok, in a hypothetical situation to say if you WERE macking, I would say you have really bad body language. You're leaning in too close and ur left knee is pointing toward her indicating you're more engaged than she is. It also displays interest without even saying a word. 10% of the game is spoken through words, 90% of it are other factors and you're failing badly"

Me: *looking at the whole group* "You know what I find interesting? Girls should really do this more often instead of being so dam nice about it... but really.. if you guys find a dude that's macking on you at a bar... and he's REALLY bad at it... you guys should be blunt and tell him he's sucking ***, give him pointers, and offer to repay him for that drink he bought you. It would make the world go round' faster... You need to tell him he's WASTING HIS TIME so he can improve and move on to the NEXT chick."

With that being said...

abui01

iTrader: (68)

Me: *looking over at Girl B* "What could you tell me about body language in this context? Please be honest and blunt as you can."

Girl B: "hahaha ok sure! *looks at the guy* You see your right elbow? It's too far on her side."

Me: "You see the way you position the bar stool? Your whole body is facing toward her... and look at HER body language, she's facing toward the BAR and NOT YOU..."

Girl B: "Look at her eyes, they are darting left and right, if she was really engaged in the conversation it would be dialated and something like this..."

*Girl B stares at me with loving eyes oh so engaged* We both turn around:

Both of us: "and that's what it looks like!"

Him: "hMm.. I see, that's interesting to know..."

Me: "Yeah! Isn't it? I teach classes on how to be more social and not to appear as a freak. When you're waaay leaned in close... like how you are right now, she'll automatically think 'wtf does this guy want?' and think you're some kinda freak trying too hard to holla."

Girl B: "Yeah you need to relax and back off a little bit, turn toward the bar or at least position yourself further away a bit."

Me: "People need their SPACE! Breathing room!"

Me: *turns back toward Girl B* "You're awesome!! *high five* more girls should be as blunt as you"

Him: "So wait... what did you study?"

Me: "I'm a burger flipper at Mcdonalds"

THE END

When guys feel threatened by another male approaching their women, the insecure ones will say, "Stop talking to my girl, back off buddy." Why "back off?" She's not going home with him if you were secure about your relationship status; why not toy around with the douche bag and make him look even more dumber than he already appears. Logic101 FTW, conquer ur victims AND have them agree with what you have to say!

With that being said, please share any stories of people coming up to you and trying to holla at your girl while you're with her. How'd you handle it and what happened? Success? Failure? Discuss!

ZIABLO

iTrader: (7)

I just take the girl and start dancing. No one can out bboy me!!@#! NO ONE!!!

HKS-Z

iTrader: (1)

lol, how long did it take you to put that together??

ZIABLO

iTrader: (7)

and do you really care that much? seems like he was just a dbag that got served. it even sounds like he added to the fun of your night!

abui01

iTrader: (68)

LOL!! Don't ask I am a loser and have no problem admitting it! WoOOT!

nicholasm617

iTrader: (3)

lol you remembered this convo word for word????
whole things pretty weak, seems like you probably made her more uncomfortable than anything, but possibly not i dunno.
anyways, quicker answer with what to do when a guy neglects to acknowledge your with a girl when he starts talkin to her, let it be known shes yours...
if the guy pursues after that, bring it to his attention to stop, depending on what he says or does after that either kick his *** or embarass him verbally seeing as he deserves it for not respecting you. then apologize to the girl that she had to deal with a loser like that and that you had to take your attention off her.

i dont get it tho, if you were there with her as friends why did you take so much offense to some guy offering her a drink?

iStan

iTrader: (29)

Another great Abui story!

blueper4mancez

iTrader: (25)

anh bui , i would've smacked that guy in the face , for randomly approaches a girl that with you . come on man where's your viet pride ? j/k about viet pride homie , i will be in town soon we should hang out.

350Zanniemal

wow.. wat an eventful night!!

Cube

iTrader: (7)

So... did you start a memo on your phone and record this? If not... what's up with the verbatim memorization? Are you autistic?

monokuroboo

iTrader: (2)

hahahahha wtfreak. bboyer's are fun to watch

i <3 abui................................'s threads. but the lack of pictures this time was disappointing... not even a ms paint diagram thingamajiggy...

DROPPEDIT2WCE

iTrader: (3)

Just work on the strength of your pimp hand Ahn!! If you have to, get the baby powder out and smack a b!tch!!!

Fluid1

iTrader: (19)

While the story was interesting, there are a lot of guys who I see with girls and ignore because they are obviously not a threat. If in fact this dude is dating the chick, I don't want any part of a chick with that poor of judgement.
While I direct none of this towards your situation, it happens a lot.
I liked the ownage, and wish I could have seen it.
I, too, am a 'gamebreaker' hehe

TENGAI

iTrader: (5)

+1

For faster and easier delivery of a smack down, always go with the b!tch slap...

abui01

iTrader: (68)

unFortunately not because I left out the best part!

*The check comes out*

Him: "Hey why don't you be a gentleman and get the tab huh?!"

(What an awful comeback!)

Me: "Sorry, I don't pay for girls, they pay for me"

Her: *pulls out her credit card* *smiles*

Him: ".............."

Ok now THE END!

2T350Z

Great Story!!!!!!!!!!!

DaveFunction2ND

iTrader: (8)

And this is why we call you The Rice King!

mdracer76

iTrader: (1)

LOLOLOL.. welll.. I just want to make sure everyone knows that it was NOT me... I would have bought Ahn a drink and then banged him.

HKS-Z

iTrader: (1)

no offense man, just thought it was funny,and everytime i try to put a post together something, my boss walks around the corner.lol