Looking for a respectful, responsible, clean person, who is not a complete a$$hole, to take 1bd 1bt and share utilities in my apartment. Conveniently located near downtown El Cajon, Parkway Plaza, Narnia, and freeways (although I don't recommend you go to any of these places except the freeways). You will get your own room, bathroom, and designated parking spot. If you don't have a car you are welcome to park a bike there or whatever you want. The complex has a pool, jacuzzi, bbq area, playground (if you are into that kind of stuff) and laundry rooms. Must be an animal lover but not have animals to bring to the apartment. My kitties are very sweet when they get comfortable with you. However, until that time, don't cross them. If they had opposable thumbs and could carry knives then they would probably stab you in your sleep on Christmas.

The room is about 11x11 I think. I haven't measured it because to be honest, I just don't really give a ****. If it fits your stuff, great, but I am not going to measure it because that is about what it looks like and I have stuff to do. It has a closet big enough for R. Kelly, Tom Cruise, and Justin Beiber to fit into. There is a balcony that you can smoke on since smoking is not allowed in the apartment. I would prefer leave it stacked up with obstacles and not allow smoking since that signals zombies....but we are in a recession, so we can't always get what we want. If we did then I wouldn't even be typing this. I would currently be driving my Ferrari to my job as Candace Swanepoel's G-string.

The apartment is actually pretty nice, I have never had any problems, less the occasional scavenger trying to sell me bullsh!t newspapers or a $5 twix bar so his stupid soccer team can play in Africa and so he won't relapse on crack. You don't need Hobo-stab insurance, but if you already have a policy I recommend you keep it just in case. I keep my policy open just in case I get into a fight with 13 or 14 hipsters at Burning Man and I have to go see a doctor because of scratches from their freshly manicured fingernails.

I am neat and easy to get along with (as hard as that may be to believe). I am a full-time zombie hunter and librarian hitman. I also sell shoes in my spare time, but that is just a hobby because Al Bundy is my hero. I am also the president of the San Diego chapter of NO MAAM (sorry, membership is currently closed). If your interests are similar to mine and you need a place to hang out and put your feet up or hide from creditors (in which case, you must pay cash), you are welcome to apply via email and maybe my wolfpack will grow by one. All are welcome to apply!