Setting: Ocean City, @ 7-11 on a warm Friday night it all began with....

Kristan: (joking around) "Hey, look at that car! it's like... a FOOT away from yours! She musta hit you!"

Everyone watches a lady pull away from Juan's car going toward our direction, Juan's attention focuses on his bumper...

Juan: *runs to the car that's pulling away* "HEY! You HIT ME!!!"

Lady: "really? no i didn't"

Juan: *grabs onto her car as if he can really stop a moving vehicle with one hand* "No really... you HIT me"

Lady: "no way... let me go take a look.."

Me: "HOLY $&%!!!!!!!!" *runs toward his unFunction:TUNED bumper*

Juan: "looks like you got it pretty bad..."

Lady: "Oh wow... I didn't even notice I hit something..."

(in the meantime, abui01 goes camera phone crazy on her azz)

Juan: "Get her plates! Call the police!!!"

(Kristan dials police, they arrive within 5 mins and begin inspecting the damages)

*Lady in Red: OoO Looogie mee! I'm a moron that hit someone and tried to get away with it! ... now I'm gettin PwNzeReD by these rice buckets who are too meticulous about their cars... sheeesh.. it's ONLY a scratch!* Here she is getting grilled by your friendly neighborhood law enforcement:


(Little blonde girl pictured above "Mommy hit someone... Mommy hit someone!!!"

Officers are seen below inspecting the unFunction:TUNED vehicle:
Lady: *looking at Kristan* "Oh look at those seat belts, he must be one of those maniac drivers huh?"
Juan: *interjects before Kristan can answer* "No actually it's just for looks, we drive very slow..."




Lady: "Wow... that barely did anything to my bumper... but wow... look at yours..."
(Her rear bumper pictured below)


*YUP, im gonna stand around and look like a douche bag!*


Me: "Looks like that dented bumper is going to restrict your aerodynamics, you're going to have to get an oil cooler to makeup for the power loss..."


Juan: "OMG! Look! My headlight is scratched!... that means replacement..!!!"

Me: "Dibs on your broken headlight!"

Umzz: "Screw that, I called dibs first!!"

Juan: "Shoot... I just made $1000!!! Good things come to those who wait!"

(Umzz is the last to be unFunctionTUNED, stay TUNED for his story!!!)
------------------------------------------------------------------
To Be Continued:
"The Story of Alberto... The unFunctionalDRUNK"

and...

"The Story of Function:FLIRT: Randomly picking up chicks and look like a total fool while doing it!!!" (photos will come shortly when those ladies send them to us)

 

lol, love your stories man

 

ha ha actually when the lady asked if he is a crazy driver, i said the seats were just for looks while Juan mumbles, "you obviously don't have to be going fast to hit someone."

 

For some reason the kids look like they are having fun.

 

damn homie everyone seems to be getting in accidents lately. At least Juan caught her before she escaped...

 

What a dumb b!tch... Should have nailed her for hit and run.

 

Well if he had a oil cooler i quess this would not have happened..........you are funny as shyt.I cant wait for bert,s drunk pic,s.

 

Sorry about the car but man that post was funny as ****!!

 

man you are the best story teller omg

 

hehe =]

 

Umzz: "Screw that, I called dibs first!!"


haha that was seriously the first thing that came out if his mouth.. it was classic

edit: I'll let you know if those pics come in ha

 

is that a AWD sticker on the hood? is the z AWD?

 

Yea, G35X drivetrain swappped.

That sucks Juan, go to Arthur for your body work man.

 

IF THOSE LIGHTS COME OFF THE CAR THEY WILL GO ON MINE!!

Ahn you better not try and pull some sort of last second asian deal on me and take them!

speaking of my turn i almost got unFunctionTUNED right after we left the parking lot where juan got hit on the way back to the hotel when a SUV was making a uturn and decided to stop in my lane...thank the ricer gods for my BBK!

 

Post it up when it does!!!

BTW Guys: We utilized some Function:FLIRT techniques on these group of women. They snapped a buncha pictures of us + them and will send them over to C5_Vette when they get a chance. I've already written up the story but pictures make it worth 10x more, hahahaha (Dave is the ultimate P-I-M-P!!!)

You almost got unFunction:TUNED because you live your life a 1/4 mile at a time. This is what happens when you floor it from light to light you piece of rice

 

^ roflllllllll

 

@story

 

by far my350's best story teller

 

That lady is the SCUM OF THE EARTH. anyone that can hit someones car, and then drive off like that should die in a fire.

Funny story though

 

preach on brother PREACH ON